The Patton Press

One More Time...

2010-03-16T19:33:00.001-05:00

Since last September, I've been working on a top secret mission to move the blog one last time. Now that I have my business blog, http://www.cadelinephotographyblog.com/, I have the liberty of using that same template for a personal blog as well. Finally, I have the freedom to create the site I've always wanted. But, that means moving the blog one last time. Back in September, I swore I wouldn't make the new blog "live" until I had every single post I've ever written switched over. That means taking everything from the Xanga site AND the Blogger site and putting them on the new blog. Unfortunately, it isn't just a matter of exporting those blogs and importing them to the new one. No, that would be WAY too easy. So, I've been manually adding the posts to the new blog for the past six months in all my spare time. Ha! Spare time... Now, I've finally accepted that it's time to just switch to the new one and update it with old posts as time warrants. I have updated it, pictures and all, up to mid June of 2006. That's one thing I wanted so badly, for people, specifically other parents who are currently going through a similar experience as ours when the girls were in the hospital, to be able to read our story and hopefully take comfort in it. With this blog, they'll easily be able to do that. Long story short, I'm moving the blog, ONE MORE TIME. Scout's honor. So, for all you faithful five or so readers, when you need a Patton fix, now you can head on over to http://www.fourhappypattons.com/. Isn't that cute? I love it. That's what we are; four happy Pattons.

http://www.fourhappypattons.com/

Interview With A Three-Year-Old

2010-03-10T21:03:00.002-06:00

Well, actually two three-year-old's. A couple weeks back, the girls and I were lying on the bed, talking and giggling about all kinds of things, when I decided to try and "interview" them. I'd tried this several months back, just to be able to have a record of who they were at that age by the way they answered the questions. They must have been too young, though, because our interview sessions was not very successful. This time around was much better; a few of the answers even made me laugh out loud.

Question #1: What is your favorite food?

Maddie: Hmmm...macaroni.

Cadie: Ooh! Macaroni, too!

Question #2: What is something you don't like to eat?

C: No chicken! (An answer that makes no sense because the kid loves chicken. Must take after her Uncle Keke.)

M: I don't like to eat raw eggs! They're yuck! (WHAT? At least we've taught her something...)

Question #3: What is your favorite color?

M: Red. 'Cause it's my favorite color.

C: Green, purple, and red. (When I prompt her for a reason why, I get a sassy response.) Because!

Question #4: What is your favorite movie?

M: Jumanji because I love it my WHOLE life!

C: Troy & Gabriela (High School Musical) because Lolo got them for us. (No, she didn't!)

Questions #5: What is your favorite game?

M: The play mat. (I think she's referring to the Yo Gabba Gabba dance mat they used to have until the broke it.) Because it's so cool. There's lots of words in the name "cool"! (They're starting to get squirrely...)

C: The balls and the sheep game. (I ask her if she's talking about the Hungry Hippos game because that's the only thing I can think she might be talking about.) Yeah! The Hungry Hippo game!

Question #6: Where is your favorite place to go?

M: The tea party! Because it has so much decorations at the party and it's my most wonderful, fun place! (The girl loves her adjectives and boy does she get excited.)

C: At Oklahoma. Why? Because. (As she rolls her eyes. I'm boring her...)

Question #7: Where is some place you don't like to go?

M: (At this point, they're flopping all over the bed speaking gibberish and being very silly. I try to bring them back in.)

C: (She's ignoring me.)

Question #8: What is your favorite song?

C: (Now I've got her attention. Cadie LOVES music.) Walking on Sunshine! (She loves the mash-up version of "Halo" and "Walking on Sunshine" from Glee.)

M: Mamma Mia because that's my favorite song. (It's true. I can just see her up on the hearth, pointing her finger out and singing, "I was cheated by you and I think you know when!"

Question #9: What is your favorite toy?

M: The big school bus. Huh? The one that's usually big. The one that isn't a play toy that moves outside. (I think she's talking about a regular school bus. She's dying to be a big girl and ride one.)

C: Plane. How come? BECAUSE. (Okay, now she's getting irritated with me.)

Question #10: What is your favorite thing to wear?

C: My Snow White dress! (Okay, maybe she's interested again...)

M: Dress up! Big girl dresses.

Question #11: Who is your best friend?

M: Ivy and Claire and Cadie. Because they're my friends. And Emmy is my favorite friend, too. And every friend I love. (She's a little social.)

C: Uncle Julius is my best friend because.

M: Actually Uncle Julius is MY best friend.

Question #12: What is your favorite TV show?

M: "Chuggington" and "Dora". Because they're my favorite videos to watch. My favorite.

C: "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" and "Diego". Oh, and "Spongebob" too. And "Hannah Montana". (Yes, my children already know of Hannah Montana. Thanks, Daddy.)

Question #13: What is something that makes you angry?

M: Throwing up. It makes me angry. (Bless her heart, Maddie has thrown up a lot. She's never complained, though.)

C: My belly. (?)

Question #14: What is something that makes you happy?

M: Dora makes me laugh and smile.

C: Uncle Julius because I love him. (Aww...)

Question #15: What's your favorite thing to do outside?

C: Play with my kite and swim it around. (Cadie is a hardcore outdoor girl. She'd spend the entire day, rain, shine, or snow outside if I'd let her.)

M: Play in the snow, too. (Yeah, right. Maddie isn't a fan of being cold.) And fly my kite in the snow. And play. And, that's it.

Question #16: What is your favorite book?

M: The one that scare me. (When I ask for clarification, we agree she's talking about The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.)

C: D, D, D, Dora!

Question #17: What is something that makes you scared?

M: Doggies. Because they love me. (A little contradictory. Maddie is actually terrified of about any animal, but especially dogs. I'm not sure why. We used to have two dogs and she did just fine with them. She always clarifies that she's only afraid of real animals, though.)

C: Monsters. Then I gotta run out of my bed and get in your bed!

Question #18: What is your favorite thing to do at school?

M: Play with my friends and have fun with my friends.

C: Play with the toys. Learn. (Yes!)

Question #19: What is your favorite thing to drink?

M: Tea and water.

C: Water and root beer.

Question #20: What is your most favorite thing in the whole world?

M: Disney World! And I can't wait until we go again! (We're trying to plan a trip for December. Looks like we better make it happen.)

C: Princess Snow White.

Their patience (and interest) definitely ran thin toward the end of our little interview. It was fun, though, listening to their answers and watching them act like such little adults. They're growing up entirely too fast. This time next year I plan to ask them the same questions. Something tells me I won't get the same answers.

Little Miss Fix-It

2010-03-06T08:14:00.000-06:00

While we were recovering from ensuring our family wouldn't grow, the girls spent Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday with Grana and Poppy. Grana had just had some dental work done and was having some trouble with one of her teeth. Maddie tried to make her feel better by rubbing her face and asking how she was Wednesday evening. Thursday morning, Maddie couldn't stand it any longer, so she asked Grana if she could see the tooth that was bothering her. After a quick peek, Maddie stated that she could fix it, no problem. Grana asked how and Maddie responded, "Well, my Mama has a bunch of toothpicks and we can just put a whole bunch of them in there!" Though tempted, Grana decided that the toothpicks would likely exacerbate the problem rather than relieving it. That evening, as they lay in bed, Grana in the middle, Maddie asked her if her tooth was feeling better. Grana replied that it wasn't, but she thought it might if Maddie prayed for it to. Grana says Maddie sat right up, clapped her hands together, closed her eyes, and said, "Dear God Jesus, please make my Grana's mouth feel better where that tooth was that she didn't need anymore." The next morning, would you believe it actually felt better?

Just the Four of Us

2010-03-05T14:04:00.001-06:00

After the girls were born, Jeff and I had every intention of having more kids. Once they were home, though, and the shock of everything we'd just gone through had worn off and reality had set in, we both started to wonder if more children would be asking for too much. We'd just escaped a life-changing potential disaster. We were lucky and blessed to not only bring both girls home, but to bring them home healthy and without any permanent damage.

After that realization was fully absorbed, I waivered back and forth between contentment and still wanting more. Jeff, though, seemed to have made up his mind. Last fall, I finally reached a point of agreement. We're so content, our little family of four. The girls will always have one another, so they won't be without a playmate. We have years of doubling everything ahead of us including school, cars, college, and weddings. We'll be able to offer them so much more, just the two of them. A nicer home, more family trips, a better education. We'd come to a place where we felt the same. So, last Thursday, we took a big step toward ensuring our family wouldn't grow any bigger. There's no need to go into detail, but just to say we'll forever be a family of four. I worried that maybe I would regret our decision once it was too late, but I don't. We already have two amazing little girls; who could really ask for more?

Insurability

2010-03-01T11:59:00.000-06:00

Today marks our first day of new insurance. That's right, after over a year of me fighting to find more affordable (and less ridiculous) insurance for my family, I've succeeded! A couple months back I discovered that Community Care had begun offering individual products for health insurance. Our health insurance since the girls' were born has been Community Care HMO through Jeff's business simply because that's all we could qualify for. Companies would take one look at the girls' medical history and run hysterically in the other direction. Never mind the fact that they've both been perfectly healthy since fall of 2006. I digress.

So, I bit the bullet and filled out an online application for each of us, expecting much of the same responses we've received from other insurance companies. I wasn't disappointed. I was even given the surprise of being rejected myself. That's right; they rejected all three of us girls, but accepted Jeff with open arms, offering him the preferred rate. Ugh. Not one to give up so easily, I chatted with the Community Care representative, Myra, who happened to be very nice. She explained that I had been rejected due to an annual exam from the previous year and the girls had been rejected for the same old thing, ROP and Cadie's VAD. I explained that I'd had a normal exam in the fall. She said, "Oh really?" I provided her with my doctor's name, then me moved on to the girls. I explained that we had a letter from Dr. Benner detailing her 100% recovery from her bleed and the resulting VAD debacle. Her response, "Oh really?" I obliged her with a faxed copy. And she replied, "Well, I think we have enough here to completely relook at this application." I was shocked and thrilled, but still not expecting much.

A few days later, I listened to a message from Myra on our answering machine stating that they were set to go with Jeff and "the twins". I couldn't believe it. Really? I've been fighting this fight for so long. Could it really be over that quickly and easily? Who am I to argue, though. I was scheduled for another annual appointment for which we would be waiting for results, but I didn't want to take any chances on them looking at the application and going, "What are we thinking insuring these children?!" So, I called Myra up and told her to push their applications through; we'd deal with me later. Luckily, my results were received only a couple of days later and before I knew it, all four of us were good to go. I'm not sure what happened to the ROP issue, but you can bet I'm not going to bring it up.

So, as of today, we will no longer be paying $600 a month for health care. That's right, $600 for just the four of us. Instead, we'll be paying $300. It could have been even lower, but the girls and I didn't earn the preferred rate. Oh well, it's something to strive for, I guess! I've since started reminding Jeff daily of how much money I'm saving us every month. I think I've earned at least a pedicure every month, if not a massage, too. A girl can dream...

Distractions

2010-02-21T22:34:00.001-06:00

Not too long ago, I wrote a post about my decision to adjust my priorities and put my family first when stress and pressure from my business had become overwhelming. I'm happy to say I did that. Since that decision, I've adjusted my editing scheduled, reminded myself not to take on more than I can handle, and it's worked. Work stress has all but been completely eliminated. Being the human that I am, though, I instead began devoting my "spare" time to distractions, rather than where they should be. They really are everywhere, distractions. TV, computer, internet, telephone. And what do they really matter? They aren't distractions of important nature like laundry, dishes, and cleaning. Even though they're much less enjoyable than browsing through website and the TV Guide, they're at least necessary. Every time I have a chance to sit down and just enjoy some free time, I steer myself (many times unintentionally) back to my computer to check my routine list of websites, oftentimes for the third or fourth time that day. What could possibly be that important? Nothing. Definitely nothing more important than spending quality time with my children.

And what better to reinforce this realization than a swift quick from Mother Sinus. The day after our tea party, Maddie was struggling with some form of cold/allergies. The next day, Cadie and I were suffering much the same. Fast forward to a week later, and even though the girls seemed to be feeling much better, I was down for the count. I had woken up that morning with a debilitating headache; one so bad that my teeth hurt. I hurt everywhere. In my temples, my ears, behind my eyes, in my jaw, in my glands. Everywhere. Like any stubborn stay-at-home mom, I tried to fight through the pain and carry on with my daily duties, but by 1 o'clock it was painfully clear (literally), that I couldn't handle anymore. I called the doctor, praying for an opening that afternoon, but nothing was available until the next morning. Remembering a nearby Urgent Care center that my mom had told me about, I drove myself over and left Jeff home with the girls. After a short wait, the doctor took one look in my left ear (the better one at this point) and said, "Oh my, you have a SEVERE sinus infection!" Apparently, whatever junk I had been battling played dead, fooling me into thinking I was getting better, while secretly setting up camp in every sinus cavity in my body. My poor sinuses were so badly impacted, the pressure was growing and growing, causing my headache pain. As a white flag, I accepted the prescription for a decongestant and antibiotic, then trotted myself home for some much needed rest. I spent the next two days in bed doing nothing but sleep, while the girls spent some quality time with Grandma (Thank you, Grandma!) Talk about an eye-opener. I can't remember the last time I was so sick I couldn't do anything but sleep the day away. Usually, I read a book, watch a movie, or play Nintendo. Not this time. This monster of a sinus infection eliminated any and all distractions, making it very clear to me that even though I'd essentially eliminated the work stress from my life, I'd allowed something else to fill that space. Something that shouldn't. I've been blessed with two miracles; two warm-blooded, full blown miracles, and I've allowed myself to be distracted.

Some antibiotic and A LOT of nose-blowing later, I once again feel like my priorities are in check. I'm forcing myself to slow down. I don't have to be moving and productive all the time. There's always something I COULD be doing, but not necessarily something I SHOULD be doing. There's so much more I could be missing, and it would be a shame to miss out because of a silly distraction.

A Spot of Tea

2010-02-06T21:22:00.002-06:00

The girls have been having tea parties pretty much since they were old enough to hold a tea cup. These tea parties usually take place at Grana and Poppy's, among other places. This year, we decided to celebrate Valentine's Day with a Mother/Daughter Princess Tea Party at Grana's house. We honored the royal theme with elaborate decorations and dress, including a fancy new tea set, heart princess scepters, and glittery tiaras. The food would have impressed even the snootiest of English elite, including PB & J, turkey & cheese, and chicken salad sandwiches; chips and dip; a veggie tray; and cheeseball. For dessert -- the most important part of any tea party -- we feasted on chocolate chip scones, chocolate cake, cheesecake squares with flower candies, and other scrumptious goodies. We sipped our tea and punch, chatting about our social calendars (Lolo has been attending the shopoholic committee; the same one Mollie recently fell off the wagon from) and enjoying the company of our impressive guest list, including Grandma, Nana, Grana, Auntie Lolo, Mollie, Beth, Julie, Cadie, Maddie, and Grace. Who knew so much fun could be had over a simple spot of tea?

Maddie, Lolo, and Cadie

Maddie, Cadie, and Grace

Cadie, Grandma, and Maddie

Maddie, Nana, and Cadie

Maddie, Mollie, and Cadie

Maddie, Grana, and Cadie

Maddie, Mommy, and Cadie

Always taking pictures...

Teaching proper tea etiquette...

Grace and her Grandma

Lolo's scary face!

Jules & Me

Me & Mollie

Jules, Grace, and Beth

Book Review: Beautiful Creatures

2010-02-05T21:20:00.001-06:00

You'll soon figure out from future book reviews that I have a thing for fantasy. Not the stuff that involves aliens and other such nonsense. I love just about anything that includes magic or a touch of non-reality. Nothing too dark, though. I like my fantasy just fantastical enough to help me escape from reality.

My most recent foray into the world of the supernatural is Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl. I'm not sure how I feel about two authors. I've experienced both ends of the spectrum, good (The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society) and bad (Witch and Wizard). In this case, it wasn't noticeable and wasn't a problem. Here's a review/synopsis from Amazon.com, where I get most of my books.

"Ethan Wate is struggling to hide his apathy for his high school "in" crowd in small town Gatlin, South Carolina, until he meets the determinedly "out" Lena Duchannes, the girl of his dreams (literally--she has been in his nightmares for months). What follows is a smart, modern fantasy--a tale of star-crossed lovers and a dark, dangerous secret. Beautiful Creatures is a delicious southern Gothic that charms you from the first page, drawing you into a dark world of magic and mystery until you emerge gasping and blinking, wondering what happened to the last few hours (and how many more you're willing to give up). To tell too much of the plot would spoil the thrill of discovery, and believe me, you will want to uncover the secrets of this richly imagined dark fantasy on your own." --Daphne Durham

In all fairness, I don't have a lot of time to sit down and lose myself in a novel, so this one took me a little longer to get into. I never lost interest, though, and about halfway through I was hooked. What is Lena's secret and why is she so different? Who is Lena's uncle and why is he known as the town's very own Boo Radley? How does Ethan fit into the strange happenings that are going on around him? The ending made it very obvious that there will be a follow-up book, and I'm happy to say I'll be reading it.

Book Club Rating: N/A

Cheri's Rating: ****1/2 (4.5 out of 5)

Mr. Mom, He is Not

2010-02-04T20:29:00.003-06:00

For the past couple of months now, since right before Christmas, Jeff has been working on and off (more off), due to the crazy amounts of snow we've gotten. Even though it has only actively snowed a couple of those days, it has taken weeks for said snow to melt away. Normally, this time of year is very slow for the landscape/irrigation industry, but for the first time in, I don't know, EVER, Jeff actually has a ton of work waiting to be done. While that work waits, it has become painfully clear that Jeff is not made to stay at home. At. All.

His daily routine has started to become very predictable: Wake up to the alarm, but completely ignore the two munchkins jumping on the bed. They'll go away eventually. Eat breakfast. Mope around. Eat lunch. Mope around and grumble about nothing to do. Make an excuse to go outside for ANY reason. Eat dinner. After the girls have gone to bed, sit at laptop and either A.) watch ridiculous and senseless (not to mention extremely boring) videos of people using heavy machinery on You Tube; or B.) look up land that is in all likelihood way out of our price range and dream, dream, dream. Fall in to bed sometime between 9 and midnight and immediately fall asleep.

Now, I love my husband dearly. We've been together for 12 ½ years; I would bet everything I own that I know him better than anyone else in this world and I can tell you right now that being stuck at home is killing him. He is not made to do nothing. That being said, he's driving me nuts. Oh weather gods, please cut me some slack and lay off the snow and rain so our house can once again be mope free! I'm afraid Jeff's sanity (and mine) depend on it.

The Little Gym

2010-01-31T17:11:00.000-06:00

Back in June, we decided the girls need some recreational activity, so I signed them up at the Tulsa World of Gymnastics. They loved it. The teachers were great, the facility was great, but after watching a mother scold her three year old for not doing her forward roll correctly again, I started to think that maybe it was a little more hardcore than what we were looking for. Plus, the way the gym was set up, I couldn't see what the girls were doing for well over half of the class. I wasn't worried about them, but I'm selfish and I want to be able to see EVERYTHING. So, we decided to try something else.

I'd heard of The Little Gym several times and had even been there for a March of Dimes meeting, but I'd always thought of it as too expensive for us. Turns out, it's the same price as Tulsa World of Gymnastics, but a lot more our speed. I knew within 2 minutes of the girls' free trial class that it was the place for us. They do something different in their warm-up every week, from running around with scarves to doing tricks with swimming noodles. After warm-up, they move onto the equipment. The teacher shows them what to do, then the kids do it. Cadie and Maddie have learned so much since they started in July, but most importantly, they have so much fun.

January 15h was the end of the fall semester, so the kids put on a performance show for parents and relatives. We invited all of the girls' grandparents, aunts & uncles, and more. It was during the day, so not everyone got to come because of work, but the girls were thrilled with everyone who made it (Daddy, Nana, Poppy, Grandma, and Aunt Kimberly). They ran around giggling, I'm sure excited and hyper from their extra audience. They'd been practicing a routine for the performance class for a few weeks, so when class started they went in for one more review. Then, it was time for us to join them. They took turns doing their floor routines (forward rolls, "tabletops", "donkey kicks", "candle sticks", and "monkey jumps"), balance beam routines (including standing on their tippy toes and bending down to touch the beam), and bar routines (with pizza hangs, straight arms, and flips). Neither of them got performance shy until it came to the bar routine and Cadie refused to do anything but her pizza hang. She rocked that pizza hang, though!

After their routines, each of the kids got a medal for completing the semester. Both of the girls were so proud! They've already started the Winter/Spring semester, so I'm sure we have more "tricks" to look forward to.

Maddie doing her "candle stick"

Maddie doing her "donkey kick"

Cadie doing her "candle stick"

Cadie doing her "table top"

They always try to be at the front of the "train"

Cadie getting her medal

Maddie getting her medal.

Their class (yes boys are allowed at the Little Gym...)

We couldn't get them to take a nice picture,

but they were game for a funny face one.

Product Review: Crayola Hassle Free Water Colors

2010-01-29T09:06:00.003-06:00

The girls LOVE to do crafts. I love them, too, but I don't love the clean-up so much. We've gone from crayons, to markers, to pens, and back again, but I've never found something that I really liked. For whatever reason, the girls peel the paper off the crayons, they get more marker on themselves than the paper, and don't even get me started on pen ink. So, when I walked past this new product from Crayola, I was skeptical, but willing to try anything with "Hassle Free" in the product name.

Here's a description from the Crayola site:

Crayola Hassle Free Watercolors are like regular watercolor paints – without the mess! There are no cups of water to tip over and no paints to spill. THe specially designed paint posts contain a bright, solid color that is only activated when you dip in the brush tip. You can even turn them upside-down – they won't spill or drip!

The girls were super excited to try them out, so we opened them up, and gave it a go. My first impression was the container was neat and easy to use. The lids of the paints aren't easy to snap off, so the girls can't get into them without help. They also have a little lip on the back to hold the lids open so they aren't constantly fighting with them. After the prep, the girls started using them without any trouble. The end result of the "paint" looks more like marker, but they don't care. They feel like they're painting, so they're happy. Even better, they really are HASSLE FREE. They've used them several times now and haven't even come close to being bored with them. If they do happen to get some color on themselves or somewhere else it shouldn't be, it comes off with just water; no soap necessary. I definitely recommend this product!

I give this product: ***** (5/5 Stars)

Holy Matrimony

2010-01-28T20:49:00.001-06:00

For several weeks now, Maddie has been talking about her "wedding". Who knows how it began? It doesn't take much for Maddie to catch on. There are even details; and specific ones at that. They change, occasionally, but for the most part they're pretty consistent.

First and foremost, Maddie will be having a "Princess" themed wedding. She's going to wear a beautiful gown. Sometimes it's a pink one she has that Nana got last year for Easter that didn't fit until this past Fall (the same one that Cadie has, but hers has an enormous chocolate stain on the rear from sitting in chocolate milk). Sometimes it's a new one I'm sure she has envisioned in her mind (and if her taste is anything like her mommy's, it will cost a fortune).

What does change is the "whom"; this is where it gets dicey. Some days she announces she is going to marry her Uncle Julius. That was the answer for many weeks. Then, she switched it up and answered that she would be marrying her Aunt Kimberly (Julius' wife). Lately, the popular answer has been that she will be marrying me. She's even got a deadline. For the longest time, she claimed that she would be getting married on her birthday, April 4th. I think she might be getting cold feet, though, because the last time she talked about it, the date had been pushed back to Christmas.

These details are all fine and good, and they make me laugh, but what makes my heart melt every time is when she says this: "Mommy, I really want all, with all of my heart, for my whole family and all of my friends, with all of my very heart...I really want them to be at my wedding because I love them with my whole heart, so very much."

Now, to that I say, "I do, too."

Yak it Up

2010-01-26T21:59:00.001-06:00

The girls have always loved the “Hot Dog” song from the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on Playhouse Disney. After yesterday, I will never look at a hot dog the same way again.

It all started that morning. Jeff got up for work as usual and, half awake/half asleep, I heard him rummaging around, preparing for his day. When I heard the unmistakable sound of him yakking in the bathroom, though, he got my full attention. Convinced he had relieved his stomach of whatever had disagreed with him, he headed off to work all the same.

Maddie was due for an eye appointment with Dr. Groves, so we rolled out of bed about an hour later and started our day. Just a bit into the appointment, I got a call from Jeff during which he mumbled, “I need you to come get me.” That’s a bad sign. Jeff has been sick about five days in his entire life (okay, I’m exaggerating, but that’s what it seems like. The man’s a workhorse.) We finished up our appointment with good news. Maddie’s eyes are doing great; she has equal focus in both, which means both eyes are healthy without any sign of problems from her previous ROP. Dr. Groves said Maddie has less than a 10% chance that her retina could detach in her right eye, then confessed his opinion that it was probably more around 2% or less, but he really shouldn’t say that.

On a high from the news of Maddie’s healthy eyes, the girls and I headed out to the job site to pick up an ailing Daddy. He greeted us with a quick puke in the street, then he climbed in without a peep. I’d warned the girls that he wasn’t feeling well and that they should be as quiet as possible. They were -- for the most part. Once we got home, Jeff crawled into bed, only leaving to be sick in the bathroom about every thirty minutes or so, bless his heart.

Not long after a lunch of hot dog and chips, Maddie started complaining of a tummy ache. Madeline has many wonderful traits, but unfortunately, she can also be a bit of a spotlight hog and a drama queen. I attributed her complaints to sympathizing with her Daddy’s current condition and immediately dismissed them. Wrong move. Not an hour after lunch, Maddie shot up from the couch and darted to the hallway toward the bathroom. She didn’t make it two steps before she projectile vomited hot dog all over the carpet. I snatched her up and tried to get her to the potty before round two, but didn’t quite make it. Now, Madeline is no stranger to throwing up. She spit up a lot as a baby and even went through a stage when she was younger during which she would get so upset about something she would end up throwing up. Why does that matter? Although she may a flair for the dramatics in every day life, Madeline is not a dramatic sick person. She didn’t cry and whine or moan about getting sick. She did the opposite; she spent the next thirty minutes or so apologizing for throwing up. Try as I might, I could not convince her that it was okay and it wasn’t her fault. Unfortunately, that incident wasn’t her last of the day. While I cleaned up the most disgusting throw up I’ve ever had the privilege of witnessing and/or cleaning in my life, she rested on the couch. About thirty minutes later, after having just started Cinderella III, she jumped up out the chair I was cuddling her in and darted for the bathroom. This time she made it. She was so proud of herself. The rest of the day was much the same. I learned after a cup of orange juice that she wasn’t going to keep anything down, so I just kept pumping her full of water, along with her ailing Daddy, still laid up in the bed. We watched movie after movie, until finally, the “sick” as we call it, stopped around 6 pm. I bathed the girls, got them into some clean jammies, then tucked them in for bed early. They didn’t argue.

I had a sleepless night on the couch to look forward to, but was relieved when Jeff’s sickness stopped around 8 pm. There was no way I was going near that bed, though, even if he was doing better.

This morning, everyone woke up on the mend. Jeff went the entire night without being sick again. And, although Maddie had a slight lapse this morning, it was clear she was well on her way to getting back to her old self. When I listed off what the girls could have for lunch today, though, you can bet hot dog was NOT on the menu.

Let's Go to the Movies

2010-01-23T11:27:00.001-06:00

Back at the end of September we took the girls to see their first movie at a theater. We're very much a move-watching household, and it seemed like the girls were old enough, so I thought it was high time we take them to the movies. We saw, "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs", an animated film based on a beloved children's book that I have somehow not read. We treated the girls to popcorn and root beer, snatched up a couple of booster seats, and settled in for the show. I didn't worry about them being noisy or talkative; we've watched enough movies at home that they've learned to listen and pay attention. They didn't last long in their own seats, but I can't say that I minded Maddie snuggling on my lap. At one point, Maddie whispered to me, "Is Cadie kick-back and relaxin'?" as she glanced over at her sister with her feet propped up on the chair in front of her. I chuckled. When the credits began to roll, the girls had lost almost all interest (I blame it on the movie which was mediocre), but they made it all the way through. We've since seen another movie, "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel", the girls' choice. I wanted to see "The Princess and the Frog", but apparently, the creepy voodoo guy from the previews is just too much for the girls. Oh well, we'll watch it at home in our own personal theater, stocked with blankies for covering eyes and that trusty pause button.

Snap To It

2010-01-22T08:09:00.000-06:00

Madeline has recently learned to snap. Ever since they started school, they've both been dying to learn how. I know of at least one song they sing at school that requires them to use their "snapping fingers", so the girls have practiced and practiced. They would get so frustrated, whining and moaning, while I would patiently remind them that learning how to snap is really hard (it really is!), so they would just have to be patient and keep trying. Finally, a few days before Christmas, something clicked. Maddie was so proud of herself, and it wasn't long before Cadie was snapping away too. I have to admit, I was pretty proud of them every time I heard their little fingers snapping. At least for a while I was; now, I'm still proud, but I long for those "pre-snapping" days. Why do I long for those days? Because Madeline, with her newfound talent, has taken to snapping orders. I tried not to laugh the first time she looked at me and said, "Mommy, get me some tea!" then snapped those little fingers at me. I'm surprised my jaw didn't drop. In the past week or so, we've since nipped the "order snapping" in the bud, but I'm sure we have more to look forward to from Miss Bossy Pants.

Book Review: The White Queen

2010-01-21T10:41:00.001-06:00

I've always loved reading. I can remember the first book I read that made me fall in love with books, Matilda by Roald Dahl. Thus began a long and happy love affair with literature. So, last June, when I was invited to join a book club, I said "yes" without hesitation. I know what you're thinking. Book Club? Yep. I'm in a book club, and proud of it! We're an intimate group of four, though our potential membership at the first meeting was seven (the other three girls just couldn't hang). We're complete and total nerds; we even have a motto. "It's like Book Club...but Cool."

Since our first meeting, we've read seven books: The Next Thing on My List, A Thousand Splendid Suns, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, Water for Elephants, The Lovely Bones, The Magicians, and most recently The White Queen. Some of these, I highly recommend (Guernsey and Splendid Suns). Others, not so much (Magicians and Lovely Bones). Now, after we've read and met each month, I'm going to provide my own personal review of the book, as well as the overall rating given by our group of esteemed literary critics (wink, wink).

First, a little more about the book:

Philippa Gregory, "the queen of royal fiction," presents the first of a new series set amid the deadly feuds of England known as the Wars of the Roses.

Brother turns on brother to win the ultimate prize, the throne of England, in this dazzling account of the wars of the Plantagenets. They are the claimants and kings who ruled England before the Tudors, and now Philippa Gregory brings them to life through the dramatic and intimate stories of the secret players: the indomitable women, starting with Elizabeth Woodville, the White Queen.

The White Queen tells the story of a woman of extraordinary beauty and ambition who, catching the eye of the newly crowned boy king, marries him in secret and ascends to royalty. While Elizabeth rises to the demands of her exalted position and fights for the success of her family, her two sons become central figures in a mystery that has confounded historians for centuries: the missing princes in the Tower of London whose fate is still unknown. From her uniquely qualified perspective, Philippa Gregory explores this most famous unsolved mystery of English history, informed by impeccable research and framed by her inimitable storytelling skills.

This was my first foray into historical fiction, so I wasn't sure what to expect. Overall, I enjoyed the experience. I was never that interested in history as it was often presented in such a boring way; memorization of dates, names, and battles. I've found, though, if it can be presented in story format, it retains my attention for a far longer amount of time. Though I found certain explanations and areas of the story to be repetitive, the first person insight into this particular royal family was interesting. Through reading this novel, though, I realized my disdain for this period of time. I'm not a feminist per say, but I was disappointed and frustrated by the limitations and treatment of women during, which ultimately led to whatever major complaints I had about the novel. No writing complaints really; just gratefulness for not having lived during such an oppressive time for us girls. Thank goodness for progress!

Cheri's Rating:

Average Book Club Rating:

Baby It's Cold Outside

2010-01-13T09:29:00.001-06:00

To say the girls found our recent snow fall exciting would be a serious understatement. We've only had a handful of decent snow accumulations since they were born, but the all out blizzard that started Christmas Eve and still has remnants lurking around town is easily the largest of the bunch. We were serious Grinches and opted to take the Christmas tree down after Christmas. It isn't that we don't enjoy the tree; I absolutely loved how beautiful it looked this year. There's just something exhilarating about putting everything away and looking toward the new year. Unfortunately, in the world of Cadence and Madeline, somewhere along the way Snow=Christmas. The second we started taking down the Christmas tree she shrieked in protest, claiming the tree couldn't come down until they had played in the snow. Under normal circumstances, the girls would have already played in the snow several times by this point, but with both of them having been sick and Cadie seeming to still be on the mend, we hadn't allowed them the chance yet. I reassured her that taking the tree down didn't mean they wouldn't get to play in the snow and she calmed down.

Fortunately, I was able to keep my word the next day. It was a surprisingly warm feeling day (though I'm sure the temperatures were still atrocious), but it somehow felt warmer. The girls had rested well and acted a hundred times better, so we bundled them up for some fun in the snow. Cadie LOVES snow. She's such an outdoor girl; there hasn't been a single day this winter that she hasn't asked me if she can go outside and play. I'm sure she thinks I'm a total liar when I tell her it's too cold. Maddie, though she was enthusiastic, lost a little of her "go get 'em" attitude once she came face to face with the white stuff. Although she loves a good adventure, she's a little more on the prissy side than Cadie. Cadie was content to spend the rest of the day outside, but Maddie was spent pretty quickly. After a few snow ball throws, a trek around the backyard, and some winter hide and seek with Daddy, it was time to return to the warmth of the living room. It wasn't two minutes later when Cadie was asking to go out again. That's my outdoor girl.

She was determined to pick up this giant

snowball she made.

Christmas: Take Three

2010-01-12T11:23:00.001-06:00

Christmas morning, I think I was more excited than the girls were. I imagined them racing down the hall, barely able to contain their excitement. Instead, I got stumbling down the hall, and pitiful faces because they didn't feel well. Hrmph. Santa Claus was good to the girls this year, and I know they would have been just beside themselves had they felt well. Maddie showed a little more enthusiasm then Cadie, but she'd also had the crud a little bit longer, so I think she was nearing the tail end. We did manage to get a few squeals out of them over the kitchen and they were thrilled to see that Santa and the reindeer had enjoyed, down to the last nibble, their cookies, milk, and carrots.

After perusing the Santa gifts – including a brand new big girl kitchen, Tinkerbell necklaces with their initials, a new princess table, and their very own princess beauty shop kits – we moved on to the gifts from Mommy and Daddy. They got a ton, and I mean a TON, of new play food to go with their kitchen. I just love the Melissa and Doug food; it's creative and interactive, and most importantly, durable. They also got some new books, a couple of puzzles, and several new ornaments. And, this was the first year they bought one another a gift. We let them each pick something out during a pre-Christmas trip to Wal-Mart. Not surprisingly, they each picked out the pink and purple versions of the same Barbie. I'm a little surprised that they're already interested in Barbie, but it seems that Barbie girls they are!

After gifts and some cinnamon rolls, it was time to get cleaned up and brave the snow covered streets for our final official Christmas celebration of the season at Nana's house. I lost count of how many cars we saw run off the road or stuck in the ditch. Luckily, our 4-wheel drive held true and we didn't have a single problem. It was nice to see, though, several Good Samaritans helping fellow drivers get "un-stuck". We made it to Nana's, unloaded, and settled in for a relaxing day. The girls were anxious to open gifts, but managed to get through a yummy turkey lunch/dinner first. Our bellies newly stuffed, we headed upstairs to let the girls open some more presents from Santa that he'd left especially at Nana's house. I was a little disappointed when their enthusiasm level was much the same as it had been at home, but reminded myself they weren't feeling well and there wasn't much that could be done about it. Despite not feeling well, though, the girls were thrilled (albeit a downplayed version of thrilled) to get fancy new Disney princess dresses and magic wands. Cadie was excited to find her very own Snow White dress, while Maddie squealed over her Sleeping Beauty one. They also got their very first piggy banks (in the shape of the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse), a Hannah Montana microphone and doll, a Cinderella and Jasmine doll, and more. We finished opening presents downstairs, then Cadie quickly fell asleep in my lap, long before bedtime. We'd planned to stay for the evening, but it was clear the girls were done in. So, we loaded back up, headed home, and tucked the girls in early, one more Christmas behind us.

Maddie decorated cookies with Ben. It was his first time, so

Maddie had to show him the ropes!

Christmas: Take Two

2010-01-08T08:00:00.001-06:00

We had so many Christmas celebrations in the past couple of weeks, we're still recovering! On Christmas Eve, we headed over to my dad's sometime in the afternoon for our traditional Wolfe Family Christmas. The weather forecasters were predicting so much as our very own Oklahoma blizzard, so we kept our eyes open for our first White Christmas since I can remember.

There are two things we do every year at Grana and Poppy's. 1.) We always watch "White Christmas" with Bing Crosby. I LOVE Bing Crosby and we LOVE that movie. 2.) We always expect a special visit from Santa Claus. For whatever reason, ever since the girls were born, Santa has made it a point to make a special visit to the Wolfe house just before heading out to deliver toys to the children of the world. Cadie and Maddie are very special. This year was no different; we observed both traditions, though to mixed results.

We started the evening with the traditional meal of fried chicken (YUM), creamed potatoes and gravy, veggies, and biscuits. We are all very realistic about how many turkey dinners we have ahead of us, so why not enjoy something different on Christmas Eve. The girls certainly don't complain.

Next, we go straight to the presents. No beating around the bush or filling time with small talk. This year, the girls didn't need any help. They knew exactly what they were doing and even helped pass the presents out. Cadie received what I think was her favorite gift of the entire season from Grana and Poppy: her very own kid tough MP3 player shaped like a music box. She toted that thing around the rest of the evening, jamming to the preloaded tunes. What made her gift even better? Her eyes lighted up when I told her we could load some of her very own favorites to the player. Favorites like "Mamma Mia", the "Walking on Sunshine/Halo" mash-up from Glee, and her new seasonal favorite, "Feliz Navidad". She heard that tune for the first time at Jeff's business partner, Drew's, family Christmas party earlier in the month and has been smitten with the song since. Maddie's equivalent to Cadie's music machine was her very own kid tough digital camera. We've already seen some of her handiwork, and she wasn't wasting any time breaking her new "toy" in. They also got a sandwich making play food kit from Keke and Lolo, along with an "Old MacDonald's" cashterator (seriously, that's what they both called it...holds a close resemblance to another word that should not come out of a three-year-old's mouth). In reality, it's a McDonald's themed cash register. Among other things, they each also got a new miniature tea set, lip gloss and fingernail sets, some videos, and a new puzzle. When Cadie opened the "Wiggles" DVD she turned to me and said with great surprise, "Mommy! It's really the Wiggles!" I guess she's already figured out that Grana is no stranger to generic and imitation DVD's!

After gifts, as the snow flakes fell and the wind gusts picked up, it seemed only appropriate that Santa pay a visit. Poppy disappeared to the bathroom with a pesky stomach bug, while Jeff and I distracted the girls in the kids' room. We searched for sleigh lights and listened for jingle bells, until suddenly there was the beeping alarm of an outside door opening, and our ears were greeted with a familiar "Ho, ho, ho!" With the amount of enthusiasm and excitement the girls have shown for Santa this year, I just knew they would be beside themselves. Instead, Maddie clung to me like I was attempting to hurl her over a cliff, and Cadie's bottom lip trembled like never before. I was shocked; I had actually been concerned that they would too clever for their own good and realize they were being tricked. Turns out, that was the least of my worries. There were tears, shrieks of complaint when I got too close, and all and out drama. Cadie finally built up enough courage to spend some time on Santa's lap, spouting off item after item that she would like for him to bring her. Unfortunately, Maddie wasn't budging. The closest I could get her to sitting on Santa's lap involved me as a buffer. Oh well. There's always next year, and we'll always remember this year's visit. We took advantage of a few more photo ops before Santa had to take off. He had a night's worth of present delivering ahead of him after all. Jeff, the girls, and I ran to the front door expecting to see Santa take off, but before we made it, he'd already escaped up the chimney and magically gone on his way. Keke saw him go up the chimney, though, and he said it was amazing.

Lo & Santa

Cadie & Santa

Maddie's reaction to being asked to sit

on Santa's lap.

The Jolly Man himself

Maddie, "sitting on Santa's lap"

Cadie, Lo, Santa, Me, and Maddie

The excitement of Santa behind us, it was time for one more family tradition, a family picture. With the assistance of a tripod, we've attempted a few Christmastime pictures in the past. They're always interesting to say the list. This year produced a gem of an image, though. It pretty much speaks for itself. It was the last of the pictures we would take. Just seconds before the shutter clicked, Poppy started to sit down in the rocker, but caught the pocket of his pajama pants on the arm of the chair, followed by an enormous rip. We were supposed to be making funny faces, but instead, all began cracking up hysterically. The following picture is the result.

Wolfe Family Portrait - 2009

After the picture debacle, it seemed all to clear that it was time to wind down and watch the movie. We all cuddled up on the floor and started the flick. Who knows how many times we've seen this film, but it's been enough that some of us (Dad, Lo, and I) oftentimes find ourselves quoting lines if not entire scenes. Normally, that drives me nuts, but with this movie, I just can't help myself. A mere thirty minutes in it was obvious that the girls were exhausted and that the weather wasn't getting any better. Maddie had woken up feeling a little crummy, so Jeff and I made the decision to head home prematurely. Thankfully, we opted for 4-wheel drive when we bought our Tahoe, even though the odds of needing it in Tulsa, Oklahoma weren't high, so we had no problem getting home. The girls were asleep in mere seconds, so we just took our time. It wasn't long before they were both curled up safe and warm in bed, the cookies, milk, and carrots for Santa and his reindeer placed safely on the hearth by Mom and Dad. I'm not sure if visions of sugar plums were dancing in their heads, but I know the excitement and anticipation of Christmas morning were floating through mine.

Blood Related

2010-01-07T11:35:00.001-06:00

Madeline has been rocking quite the accent lately. Both Cadence and Madeline have always had a bit of one, their soft voices drawling out with a hint of twang. Recently, though, Madeline's has gotten thick. Many of you may not know this, but my step-mom, Lydia, the girls' Grana, was the source of almost all six of their combined blood transfusions while they were in the hospital. So, even though they aren't genetically linked, in a sense, they are blood related. So, since she's from East Texas and has an unmistakable accent of her own (one that we love, might I add), I'm blaming Madeline's newfound accent on her, ya'll!

Cats & Dogs

2010-01-05T18:54:00.002-06:00

When the girls got home from school today, they immediately transformed into their "kitten" selves, a role play game they've been playing for a couple of weeks now. Usually, one of them plays the mommy cat and the other is the baby. Today, I was wrangled into the game in the role of "mommy". I guess I have a little experience...

This evening, the game resumed with a new character. Jeff took on the role of "Daddy dog". Maddie's not a big fan of real animals she tells me. She likes her stuffed ones just fine, especially her cat Nana bought her at Disney World. She's scared of real animals, though, namely dogs; so the minute Jeff started barking, she was frantically dragging me by the hair (seriously, she was pulling on my hair like she would pull on a shirt), to help me escape from the dog. We sought refuge in Cadie's closet, clearly the safest place in the house to hide from dogs. I concealed myself behind one of the girls fluffy dresses, while Cadie found safety behind Maddie's Sleeping Beauty gown. Maddie's hiding place of choice? Behind their princess suitcase. I assured them that we would be safe from the dog, and even if he did make it into the closet, he wouldn't be able to see us in our clever hidey holes.

The next few minutes were mass chaos. It started with Jeff poking his hand under the door and the girls screaming shrilly. Then, the door flung open and again more screaming (and barking) ensued. After the door slammed shut, we made an escape plan. Maddie clung to my back and I scooped Cadie up in my arms. I opened the door, then barreled out, my little kittens in tow. We made it to the safety of the bed, but Daddy dog wasn't far behind. It all ended with each one of us erupting into laughter and giggling as the dog ate Cadie, then finished Maddie off for dessert.

Man, that was fun!

2009: A Year in Review

2010-01-03T22:27:00.001-06:00

And what a year it has been. I know for many, 2009 was a tough year. The economy was in a recession, health scares abounded, and futures were up in the air. Though we had our own trials and tribulations, I will always look back on 2009 as a year of abundant blessings. So, just for fun, I've compiled a 'Best of' list for '09. Enjoy!

Best Financial Blessing

Our financial lives definitely turned for the better when Jeff teamed up with his business partner Drew nearly two years ago. This past Spring, Jeff and Drew were presented with a job opportunity that lasted six months and translated to the best year of business Jeff has had since the inception of his original company back in 1996.

Runner Up: Although my business, Cadeline Photography, had shown steady growth since I started the business in July '07, I never expected the onslaught of new clientele that I received late summer, early fall of this past year. I found myself facing weekends of three to four sessions a day.

Best Medical News

In the process of trying to change health insurance, Jeff and I were forced to face one of our silent fears: the question of whether or not Cadie's hydrocephalus could/would return. After receiving a letter from Dr. Benner, Cadie's neurologist, our fears were alleviated with the news that Cadie's hydrocephalus had been "transient" and would not be returning.

Runner Up: At the most recent appointment with Dr. Groves, Maddie was once again given a clean bill of health in both of her eyes. There are no signs of problems as a result of ROP or the laser eye surgery she underwent at three months old.

Best New Activity

Other than school, I wanted the girls to have an outlet for fun and making news friends, so I signed them up for gymnastics at Tulsa World of Gymnastics. Although their program ended up not being what we were looking for, it ultimately led us to The Little Gym. Now, the girls enjoy a fun-filled hour of flipping, jumping, and games every Friday and they love it.

Runner Up: Who can resist jumping on Mommy and Daddy's bed? Although we won't allow them to jump on their beds, our bed is free game, and boy do the girls take advantage of it!

Best Trip/Vacation

Disney World has always held a special place in my heart. I can remember going there twice when I was younger, then Jeff and I spent our honeymoon there. So you can bet I was ready to take the girls as soon as we thought they could handle it. The trip was everything I'd hoped it would be. The girls were in awe of the castles, characters, and rides. They waited patiently in line, never complaining despite long waits, heat, and obnoxious children. Almost a year later, they still talk about that trip. Now, we're planning and hoping for another visit in December '10.

Runner Up: We love our Texas family, so we're happy every chance we get to visit. The girls love their cousins (especially the big girls). We were able to visit a couple of times this year and loved every visit.

Best Book

For anyone who knows me, you know how much I love books. Back in the Spring, I joined a book club, so I've been exposed to some new books that I might never have read. My personal favorite book of the year (I read 35) was "Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins. It was simply fantastic. For the girls, their favorite book of the year was easily their Bible they received for their 3rd birthday from their BFF, Grace. They take turns reading it and I've often found Cadie holed up in the closet, reading it to herself. Of course, in her version, some of the characters names are "Josepha" and "Damuel".

Runner Up: For me, it's too difficult to choose just one. I read so many fantastic books this year. Some of my favorites were "The Mortal Instruments Trilogy" by Cassandra Clare, the "Percy Jackson and the Olympians" series by Rick Riordan, "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society" by Mary Ann Shaffer, "Catching Fire" by Suzanne Collins which is the follow-up to "Hunger Games", and "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khaled Hosseini. For the girls, Cadie really attached herself to "The Cat in the Hat" by Dr. Seuss and a book called "We're Going on a Bear Hunt". Maddie loves them all, but has a particular fondness for "Where's Waldo".

Best Movie

We're a movie loving household, so this category is tough. For me, as a dedicated Twihard, I must say my favorite movie was "New Moon". For the girls, their favorite new movie would have to be the latest Disney/Pixar movie, ”Up". If you haven't seen it yet, do. It's fantastic. I still love it even though I can't count how many times I've watched it since the girls got it for Christmas a mere two weeks ago.

Runner Up: I can't even remember all the movies I saw this year. A few that come to mind are "The Proposal", "The Blind Side", and "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince". For the girls, although they aren't necessarily new movies, I can't count how many times we watched "The Incredibles", "Toy Story 1 & 2", "High School Musical 1-3", and "Finding Nemo".

Best TV Show

Again, we're entertainment people, so there is much TV watched in our humble abode. For me, the best TV show of the year was "Glee" on Fox. I'm not a big fan of Fox, but they got me on this one. It is as if the people who created it sat down and said, "Let's create a TV show that is perfect for Cheri Patton", then they did. For Cadie and Maddie, it's tough to say, but I imagine it would be "Phineas and Ferb" on the Disney Channel. They love that show, and Jeff and I love it, too!

Runner Up: I think it was a great year for veteran shows like "Monk", "Psych", and "In Plain Sight" on the USA network; "The Office" on NBC, "Grey's Anatomy" and "Lost" on ABC; and "Big Bang Theory", "How I Met Your Mother", and "The Mentalist" on CBS. All personal favorites in our household. On Cadie and Maddie's watchlist you'll find "Dora the Explorer", "Imagination Movers", "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse", "Little Einsteins", and still the occasional "Doodlebops".

Best Social Event

We're also a family that loves to party. We had so many fun events this year, but the event that stands out the most was the 4th of July shindig. Complete with fireworks, ribs, and a robust round of badminton, I remember everyone having so much fun.

Runner Up: Amidst all of the fun times, two other events come to the forefront: the Halloween Party and our own version of the March of Dimes Gourmet Gala. For each there was good food, fun attire, and best of all, good company.

Now, who knows what 2010 has in store. I know, though, that our family is happy, healthy, and strong. I hope many things for the coming year. I hope that the girls continue to be healthy, growing more and more every day (but not TOO fast). I hope that Jeff's business continues to run like a well-oiled machine, allowing us the opportunity to purchase the acreage we dream of. I hope for good health and prosperity for our family and dear friends. And, I hope we continue to be surrounded by those who love, support, and honor us as we do them. Here's to the New Year!

Under the Weather

2009-12-26T21:45:00.003-06:00

Today's blog post title definitely has a double meaning. Early evening Christmas Eve, we were witness to the first ever blizzard warning here in Tulsa. Not only that, but according to one of the news stations, this is only the fourth time in the past 106 years that we've had a White Christmas. Now, the snow doesn't bother me in the slightest. It's never stressed me out. I'm perfectly content curling up in some comfy sweat pants next to a roaring fire, reading books and playing games with my family. And, if we need to get out -- as we did later that evening to get home from Grana and Poppy's and the next afternoon to get to and from Nana's house – the Tahoe has 4-wheel drive, so we just take our time and head out on our merry way. No problem.

The title's other meaning? Well, yesterday morning was a little anticlimactic when both girls (especially Cadie) woke up not feeling well. Instead of squeals of delight coming down the hall, I heard shuffling feet, and muffled groans, then Cadie immediately climbed into my lap without even a glance at the stash that Santa had left. Skip to today and two out of four of us are down for the count. Cadie is doing much better, but I've joined the ranks of feeling not up to par. Nothing serious; Cadie's running a slight fever, but seems to be feeling much better, just a little whiny and clingy. I'm battling some drainage and a sore throat. All that to say, it's the day after Christmas and the girls are finally playing with their toys. We had hoped to attend a Christmas shindig at Auntie Lolo and Keke's house, but it looks like we're going to have to settle for a quiet night at home. Something tells me it's just what the doctor ordered.

Maddie's new Hannah Montana doll

I can't remember what she was pouting about, but it's darn cute.

Cadie's favorite princess is Snow White, so she LOVED

her dress that Nana got her.

I got these comfy socks for Christmas. Maddie

decided they would make a good hat.

Still learning how to use my new camera...

Now, the socks have at least made it to her feet.

Cadie wore my other pair.

One of my new all-time favorite pictures. So much personality. :)

I Heart Santa

2009-12-24T09:00:00.001-06:00

There are so many things I love about the holiday season. Warm, crackling fires, Christmas songs, and neatly tied ribbons to name a few. This year, though, my favorite thing has been Santa Claus. As kids, Santa was always a part of our celebration. For me, Santa Claus is what brings magic to the holiday. This year, we've made it a point to make sure the girls understand that Christmas is first and foremost the celebration of Jesus' birth and that our world would be lost without that night when he was placed safe and warm in a manger. But, I see no harm in Santa being a part of the celebration, too.

So, why has Santa been my favorite part of this holiday season? Because the girls are totally into it. The past couple of years, they've been somewhat aware of him, but this year, he's at the forefront. Cadie and Maddie started talking, at least a couple of months ago, about what Santa would bring them if they were good. It changed nearly every time. One day it was a "Jumping Judy guitar" (something that does not exist other than in their imaginations), another day they wanted a necklace with a heart. Late last week, I impulse bought them a new kitchen online (to the replace the two they already have...they outgrew them, all right!), so I subtly – then not-so-subtly -- started hinting that Santa might bring them a new kitchen. Every time Santa appears on a movie or TV show, the girls go nuts and start screaming about Santa Claus coming to town. For them, this year, he is very much real.

Last year, during my annual after-Christmas shopping for clearanced wrapping paper, tissue, and ribbon, I came across a Santa Claus mailbox kit at Hallmark. It was really cute (and really cheap), so I picked it up and figured we could use it this year. I'm so glad I got it. When we pulled down the Christmas decorations, I found it again and decided to put it to use.

This past Saturday, after our Patton Family Christmas, we sat the girls down to write their letters to Santa. Cadie and Maddie dictated, and I was responsible for translating and writing. They didn't need too much prompting. Maddie's letter said:

Dear Santa,

I have been a really good girl. Please bring me ice cream cones like Cadie with cups for the ice cream cones. Please bring me table to do crafts on. I would also like some Sleeping Beauty princess cups. I would also like more and more and more jewelry like a necklace. Can I please have a Sleeping Beauty big purse, too? I also want a pony that's real to ride on.

Love,

Maddie

Both of the girls have been aching for a pony. I'm not really sure where that came from, but I'm telling you right now, if we ever get the land we want, those girls are getting a pony! Next, Cadie wrote her letter:

Dear Santa,

I want a "pobo" stick. Maddie wants one, too. I'd also like an ABCDEFG Doodlebops. And an Old McDonald's had a farm. I'd also really like a Snow White necklace. And a Yo Gabba Gabba TV/computer. I've been a good girl, Santa.

Love,

Cadie

At this point, both of the girls were getting a little squirrely. Cadie was rambling off nonsense, then focused back in at the mention of jewelry (that's my girl!) Then, I had both of the girls sign their letters, put them in the envelope, and give it a special stamp. Then, we placed the letters in the magic mailbox as I explained how the mailbox sent letters straight to Santa with special Christmas magic. They seemed a little wary, but were willing to give a try. We got back to playing, and about an hour later I told them to go check the mailbox. They raced over to it, yanked open the door, and gasped when they found it empty. Cadie immediately asked, "Mommy, where did our letters go!" I answered that Santa had gotten the letters by magic through the mailbox. Their eyes grew wide and they squealed with excitement. I told them that Santa might write them back, so we would have to check it every once in a while.

Cue the next morning, when after crawling in bed with us and playing for a few minutes, I asked the girls if they'd checked the mailbox yet. Cadie put her hands over her mouth and screeched, then darted out of the room to check the mailbox. She was back in a flash, postcard in hand, and hurled herself on the bed. I read them the post card, that went a little something like this:

Dear Cadie and Maddie,

Thank you for your letters. I will do my best to bring you what you asked for. Be good. Remember, I'm watching!

Love,

Santa

Both of the girls were simply beside themselves. They couldn't believe Santa had written them a letter, then sent it to them via the magic mailbox. I love it!

Now, the girls are braced to meet the big man himself tonight at Grana and Poppy's. Santa always makes a special stop at their house while he's out delivering toys. I'm just crossing my fingers they aren't too clever for their own good. I'm afraid this may be the last year Poppy is able to take on Santa duty. We'll see!

Do You See What I See?

2009-12-21T23:30:00.001-06:00

Although I'm now well into adulthood, I can still remember vividly waking up in the middle of the night as a child and "seeing" spiders, little elves, and even people creeping and crawling around my room. They were more than just nightmares; until I was old enough to realize any better, they were real. My little sister, Laura, has struggled with the same problem. My hallucinations, you might call them, faded away before my teen years, but Laura still jokes about her latest late night fiascos every once in a while. It seems we Wolfe girls come out just a tad crazy. Now, after last night with Maddie, I'm afraid it might be genetic.

She went to bed like any other night. Prayers, two stories (one told by her and one told by me), and a good night kiss. About 2:30, though, we heard her panicking, hollering from her room. To be completely honest, I don't have a clue which one of us went in there first, me or Jeff. I think I took the first couple of visits, then we traded off from there. It's not uncommon for one of them to wake up once in the middle of the night every now and then, for various reasons. They dropped their Bebe, they had a bad dream, or Maddie occasionally asks for a drink of water. I just assumed this was one of those instances. After two or three trips to her room, though, it became clear it was something more. Eventually, I was informed that there were "animal sticker monsters" in her room and they were trying to get her. I calmly reassured her that there was no such thing and that nothing was trying to get her. A few more visits, at least an hour and a half, and quite a bit of exhausted frustration later, we finally gave in and just brought her to bed with us. One would assume this would solve the problem and Maddie would fall right to sleep, safe and secure in Mommy and Daddy's bed. Nope. She laid there awake for at least another hour, flopping around, sitting up (I'm assuming to check for the monsters), and fidgeting her feet. I consider myself to be on the more generous end of patience with my children, but I was nearing the end of my rope. At some point, she must have fallen asleep because so did I.

I decided not to mention it in the morning. No sense it bringing it up again when I hoped out of mind would mean out of sight. She hasn't said anything about it today, so I'm hoping the entire incident is long forgotten. During the night, I didn't give it much thought, but then I remembered Cadie's traumatic worries of spider invasions not so many months ago, which sparked memories of my own concerns as a kiddo. It reminded me how real those fears were for me when I was little, too young to know the difference between real and a sleep-induced haze.

Today, I'm exhausted, and can only hope for a Silent Night (are you catching all the Christmas song puns?) I ache for Maddie, knowing all too well how all consuming that fear can be. So, if she does happen to wake up in the middle of the night again, I'll do my best to be especially patient, reassuring her that Mommy and Daddy would never let anything get her. Especially, animal sticker monsters.

Christmas: Take One

2009-12-19T22:30:00.001-06:00

Between the two of us, Jeff and I have quite the extended family. Both of my parents are remarried, and a lot of Jeff's family comes in for Thanksgiving, so holidays used to be pretty hectic. A few years ago, though, pre-Cadie and Maddie, we started a schedule that has worked out really well for us. Instead of racing from house to house to house every holiday, we spend certain days with certain family members. On Thanksgiving, we spend pretty much the Wednesday before through Saturday evening with Jeff's family because so many relatives come in from out of town and they're only here once a year. For Christmas, we spend Christmas Eve with my dad and step-mom and Christmas day with my mom. A couple years back, Jeff's family started the tradition of celebrating Christmas the weekend before, which is fine with me because it means the celebration starts that much sooner! After we had the girls, we also started spending Christmas morning at home, just the four of us.

So, last night, we kicked off our Christmas celebrations (1 of 4) with a Patton Family Christmas. We had a yummy Italian spread of lasagna and spaghetti with meatballs, knowing full well we'd be getting our fill of turkey and dressing soon. Then, on to the really good stuff: presents. Opening presents used to be about the excitement of not knowing what I'd be getting; now, though, it's all about the look on the girls' faces when they open up their gifts. And, they got some great stuff including play food by Melissa & Doug from Grandma and Grandpa. They were the first things they opened, and I was worried they would have eyes for nothing else the rest of the evening. I grew up with Fisher Price Fun with Food, so I'm a bit of a play food snob, but I have to say, Melissa & Doug have gotten it right. They are the first ones to come out with a product that even comes close to comparing. Cadie got an ice cream set and Maddie got a cookie set. The ice cream set is so neat because there are magnets in the ice cream scoopers and the scoops of ice cream, so they can actually scoop the ice cream and it sticks until they drop it onto the cone. The cookie baking set is neat, too, because the cookies are fixed with Velcro so they stick to the cookie sheet, and they also stick together so they can "cut" the individual pieces to bake. Another hit was their jewelry box from Grandma and Grandpa, complete with costume jewelry to go inside. When it comes to jewelry, my girls definitely do not think "less is more"! They got a bunch of other great stuff including a giant set of coloring stuff from Uncle Julius and Aunt Kimberly.

Maddie & Daddy

Cadie & Uncle Julius

Aunt Kimberly shooting video

Grandma & Cadie

Maddie & her cookie set

Cadie scooping some ice cream

Cadie holding up the art set from Julius & Kimberly

Grandpa opening up his brand new tackle box!

Cadie admiring herself in the mirror of her new jewelry box.

Maddie & Julius, testing the new jewelry

Maddie & Daddy

Julius & Cadie

Maddie, all dolled up

Cadie

I have to say, though, that I got the best present of all; a very unexpected present. Even though we'd agreed that we wouldn't be buying gifts for one another (due to a recent purchase that is now hanging on the wall in our living room), my thoughtful husband presented me with a VERY generous gift: a brand new Canon 5D Mark II. This is the grand-daddy of cameras. Full frame, 21.1 megapixels, unbelievable ISO, and a bunch of other stuff most of you won't understand! There has been only one other time Jeff has managed to completely surprise me in our relationship (when he proposed), so now he's up to two. I'd say he's on a pretty good roll!

Finally, we wound down the night with a viewing of "Wild Hogs" while the girls (at least Cadie), drifted off to sleep in their Christmas jammies.

This morning, we woke to the heavenly aroma of homemade cinnamon rolls and fresh fried bacon. The girls scurried in while Jeff and I caught a few more winks. After a mug of hot chocolate, we loaded up our booty and headed home, one of four celebrations under our belt. If you ask me, we're off to a great start!

Cadie with her hot cocoa

Maddie with her hot cocoa

Finding a Balance

2009-12-15T22:14:00.003-06:00

After Jeff was home from the Tenkiller job, I just knew everything would slow down and return back to normal. I didn't think about all of the stress, tiredness, and overall feeling of burnout that had built up over the previous six months. Nor did I consider the almost smothering explosion of my "side" business, bringing with it hours and hours of necessary editing time. Add to that the various commitments I willingly committed to (most because I wanted to) and the responsibilities that come along with said commitments. All together, it became too much. No longer was I able to be the wife and mother I want to be, that I am devoted to being. No matter what all the extra stuff means to me -- and believe me, some of it is very important to me – my first priority and responsibility will always be mother and wife. I had to make a choice, to save myself from drowning, so I took a step back and tried to get some balance back in my life.

I could immediately tell a difference in the girls. It's amazing how much kids soak up from their atmosphere. Once I was more relaxed and less stressed, so were they. Finally, I was able to get down and play with them, read to them, and laugh with them like I've always done. I missed that so much.

Now, I've learned my lesson. I can't continue to be the "yes" girl that I so often am; I hate to say "no", but not at the expense of my sanity and that of my family. I've limited my photography to certain parts of the week and put a self-imposed cap on the number of sessions per month. It seems ungrateful to complain; this business has become more successful than I ever could have imagined and I've made so many new friends in the process. I've cut back on the extracurricular events I've committed to, even though I love to have my hands in just about anything I can. These past few days I've literally felt a load slowly lift off of my shoulders (and neck!) What is it about us moms (and dads) that makes us feel like we should (and can) do everything? Even when it's at the expense of what and who matters most. Well, I say no more! I'm tired of spreading myself too thin. From now on, it's all about my family.

Vaccinated

2009-11-16T08:38:00.000-06:00

Amid all the H1N1 flurry, I kept going back and forth between vaccinating and not vaccinating. It made me nervous that the vaccine had been creating so quickly. Had there been time to adequately test it? On the other hand, I'm terrified at the possibility of the girls getting that particular strain of flu. One of two theories is true when it comes to the girls' immune systems. Either their immune systems are weaker due to their prematurity and overall sickness at birth or their immune systems are stronger due to the duress under which they were born and the following months of ailment after ailment their systems were forced to fend off. I'd like to think their little bodies are stronger after what they've been through, but who's to say for sure? In the end, it was a conversation with the girls' neonatologist, Dr. Lawson, that clenched it for me. When I asked what he recommended, he responded, without a second's hesitation, "Get it." That's all I needed to hear. Dr. Lawson got us through the girls' hospital stays; we trusted him with their lives, so his opinion carries a lot of weight.

Once the decision to get the vaccine was made, it became a matter of where to get it. Despite watching their pediatrician's website, we missed securing some of the initial delivery of the vaccine. When I called to make an appointment, it was all spoken for. We considered taking the girls to one of the various clinics that have been offered all over town by the city on the weekends, but Jeff argued that the girls would likely be exposed to more in line waiting for the vaccine than if we carried on as usual and waited for more to arrive at Dr. Mayberry's office. I agreed.

Tuesday of last week, I called Dr. Mayberry's office for a completely unrelated reason, but decided to ask about getting on a waiting list for the vaccine while I was at it. It just so happened that they had received a new shipment that morning. After finding out there was a lack of afternoon appointments, I picked the girls up from school and took them to finally get their vaccines. The fear of them becoming sick, and God forbid, something horrible happening to one of them after everything they (and we) have already been through had been gnawing at me for too long. Inaction isn't something I handle well, so I can't explain adequately the relief I felt at finally doing something. The girls are old enough and healthy enough to get the mist version of the vaccine, so our visit was quick and painless. They took their squirts up the nose like pros and delighted in the Dora stickers they were able to proudly sport when they returned to school. And I delighted in the fact that I could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

Rise and Shine...

2009-11-15T08:16:00.000-06:00

...and go back to bed! Before Daylight Savings, Cadie woke –like clockwork—every morning at 7:30. I'm fine with 7:30. Since Daylight Savings, though, Cadie has woken every morning promptly at 6:45. Really? 6:45? I had a hard enough time getting up that early when I was teaching; why would I get up that early now that I don't have to? Mind you, my bedtime is often well past midnight, so don't look on me as a whiner just yet. I'm a night owl; always have been, likely always will be. Cadie will come around, eventually. Until then, she'll just have to settle for cuddling up with me first thing in the morning, and finding a way to drift back to sleep for at least another 45 minutes...or more.

The Nebulizer

2009-11-14T21:49:00.001-06:00

A couple of weeks ago, after what had seemed like days and days of coughing, my worried mother brain couldn't take it anymore, so we took the girls in for a check-up with Dr. Mayberry. Fears of H1N1 swarmed my brain. I was more concerned for Maddie, who'd been hacking and rattling for at least a week despite daily doses of doctor prescribed Benadryl. After the exam, though, it turned out Maddie was perfectly fine, just fighting off some little bug. Cadie, on the other hand, having just begun some slight wheezing that morning, would need to be checked to make sure there wasn't an infection in her lungs.

So, we headed off to x-ray. Distracted by stickers depicting various beloved characters like Hannah Montana, Mr. Incredible, and Spongebob, Cadie stood dutifully still as the tech took a couple of pictures of her lungs. Dr. Mayberry reported that all was well and her lungs were clear, but she wanted to get rid of the wheeze, so she prescribed some breathing treatments. She asked if we still had the nebulizer we'd gotten when Cadie had had pneumonia last winter. Turns out, that nebulizer was meant to permanently be ours after a 10-month period of rent-to-own with our insurance company. I'd misunderstood and returned it as soon as Cadie had recovered, no one from the medical supply company finding the need to correct me. Dr. Mayberry sent us home with a brand new one and with instructions not to give it back this time.

Cadie responded to the breathing treatments beautifully, as she always has. Though it's been years since I've felt the fear of one of the girls being in mortal danger, it's been such a comfort to know that nebulizer rests comfortably in the girls' bathroom cabinet, a generous supply of albuterol nestled just one shelf above. This evening, after a day of raking leaves and playing in the unseasonably warm weather, I noticed Cadie had an "almost wheeze". How convenient it was to pull the nebulizer from its perch and treat the condition right away. Cadie has become so comfortable with the treatments (though she's only received a handful), that she fell asleep just a couple of minutes into tonight's treatment, curled up on my lap in the rocking chair. I'll always be so grateful that out of all the things she suffered during her hospital stay and since, we can always count on the amazing response she has to the nebulizer and the medicine it provides.

The Hair Girls

2009-11-11T16:04:00.001-06:00

Yesterday was quite the day.

The girls spent the better part of the morning playing "beauty shop". At one point, Maddie even announced that they would now be known as "the hair girls". They ran around the house with my eyelash curler, pretending to cut one another's hair and giggling as they huddled up in the corner of our bathroom, grooming one another.

Later, that afternoon, as I cleaned up in the kitchen, I could hear the girls in our bedroom chattering and playing. At one point, Maddie announced, "Mommy, we're cutting our hair!" Of course, I immediately assumed they had once again taken up with my eyelash curler. A little voice in my head questioned that assumption, though, so I headed back to our room, just to be sure. This is what I found:

The carnage was unbearable. There, on the floor, laid the remains of Maddie's beautiful blond curls and Cadie's pretty brown locks. They froze at my gasp, scissors still in hand. They were caught in the act, although it was immediately obvious they had no idea they were doing something wrong. I truly believe they thought they were pretending, though the snippets of hair should have been a good clue to them that they weren't. I couldn't do anything but laugh. There was no undoing what they'd done, and there was no sense in punishing them because the tears and uncontrollable sobs that followed after I explained to and showed them what they had done to their hair were punishment enough. They each spent the rest of the day randomly stating, "I'm not going to play with scissors anymore because I'll get in trouble."

When Jeff got home, he didn't immediately notice their hair, but the pile of their locks on our bedroom floor must have clued him into the fact that something had gone down. His response? Uproarious laughter. Maddie later explained to him that she now had hair just like his.

Cadence

Madeline (clearly the worse of the two)

After the initial shock, I was able to survey the damage and realized it wasn't all that bad. Because they were cutting one another's hair and not their own, they'd limited the carnage to the backs of their heads, not the front or tops. Bangs and roots were left intact, thank goodness. Although I've been trimming the girls' hair since they were born, there was no way I was going to even attempt to salvage what was left, so first thing this morning, I made an appointment for them with my hairstylist, explaining that I wasn't expecting a miracle, just improvement as much as possible.

So, this afternoon, we headed out to Owasso on a recovery mission. The girls were a little hesitant after yesterday's debacle, but luckily, they have gone with me to get my haircut for months now, so it wasn't completely foreign to them. Laura was able to do more than just salvage what was left. By some miracle, she was able to make both of them look pretty darn cute, a feat especially impressive with Maddie's hair as she definitely suffered the worse of the two.

And, proving that I'm just about the most awesome mom ever, because the girls did so well getting their hair "fixed", I even took them for an ice cream afterwards!

What do you think of the new do's?

Madarazzi

2009-11-08T14:25:00.002-06:00

Maddie has the photography bug. A couple months back, she managed to get a hold of Grana's point and shoot, and she just hasn't been able to get enough of it since. She even tries to handle my monster cameras (to which I respond, "Ahh! No! Put that down!")

Check out some of her "work" below.

Bookworms

2009-11-07T09:23:00.001-06:00

For those of you who know me well, you know my love for literature. I love it all; young adult, children's, classics, fantasy. So, my literary heart just swells with pride when I see the girls cuddle up with a book, reading in their own little ways, seeming to love something just as much as I do. And, just like me, the girls don't seem to discriminate. Their tastes vary, but they definitely have their favorites:

Where's Waldo? – We spent a good three weeks "reading" this book every night (and sometimes earlier during that same day). We've gotten to the point where the girls don't even have to think about where Waldo is hiding. They simply take turns, "Cadie's turn" then "Maddie's turn", pointing straight to Waldo without a second's hesitation. What's neat about this book, though, is that it's one of the first printings circa 1989, a copy that I grew up with.

The Napping House – We went through a phase of reading this book every night before bed. The girls grew so accustomed to reading it, they began reciting the pages while I read, occasionally helping me with the self-imposed sound effects.

The Goodnight Train – Another book that rotates through our bedtime routine. This one always took longer than it should have because the girls insisted on pointing out various pictures, including the mermaid perched on a rock, applying her night cream. This book will always be special to me because it combines Cadie's love for trains and the moon.

Olivia & Madeline – Ages ago, the girls' godparents, Mollie and Scuba, bought a book for the girls in which the title included their name. In Cadence's case, there aren't many books with "Cadence" in the title, so her middle name sufficed. These books are fun and entertaining, with great artwork and easy to follow stories. Now, after reading through them several times, the girls sit down and "read" them by themselves, often relating exact lines and parts of the stories.

There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly – We actually have two variations of this book. I'm quite fond of the second one because it includes the line, "popped open her throat and swallowed a goat!" The girls and I have a great time "reading" this one, using silly voices and embracing our lower registers.

I Love You, Stinky Face – Quite possibly my favorite one out of the bunch, I love this book because it essentially tells of a mother's unconditional love for her child.

"But Mama, but Mama, what if I were a super smelly skunk, and I smelled so bad that my name was Stinky Face?"

"Then I'd plunk you in a bubble bath! But if you still smelled stinky, I wouldn't mind. I'd whisper in your ear, 'I love you, Stinky Face.'"

Candle's Bible for Toddlers & The One Year Devotions for Preschoolers – The girls tote these books around just about everywhere. As part of our bedtime routine, we read a bible story or two, then the day's devotional. Now, as a rule, we have to allow for at least five minutes or so for the girls to "read" from both books. I smile every time I watch Cadie, her nose in the Bible book, "reading" about Damuel (Samuel) and Noah. And Maddie is always very serious about making sure she reads from the correct page of the daily devotional. I love that the girls don't feel threatened by the word of God, but rather they embrace it. What makes these books even better? They were a gift for their 3rd birthdays from their good friend, Grace.

I know we have years and years of good books ahead of us. I couldn't have been more proud the other day, when standing in the middle of one of the toy aisles at Target, Madeline said, "Mom, why don't we go look at the books for our prize instead? I think that would be better." Wise, choice, Madeline. Wise choice.

Room to Love

2009-11-06T09:37:00.000-06:00

Last Wednesday, Jeff and I were extended the privilege of attending the dedication and grand opening of the new NICU in the Children's Hospital at Saint Francis. We had every intention of taking the girls with us, but had to leave them at home when they woke that morning with fever and a cough. Earlier in October, we were honored to be invited for a private tour of the new unit (girls in tow that time) while being interviewed by the Tulsa World. At a loss for any other description, I call the new unit "NICU heaven". There really aren't words. I know from a medical professional's perspective, the new unit, spread over 30,000 square feet on the top floor of the new Children's Hospital, poses a myriad of obstacles and adjustments, but from a parent's perspective, the new unit is a dream. This unit boasts private rooms, with several big enough to accommodate multiples. For us, that would have meant Cadence and Madeline being together for the entire duration of their stay, rather than jumping around the old unit when beds/isolettes were available. There are windows in well over half of the rooms, allowing the comfort of natural light to creep in, something we saw only when we left the old unit. Each room has a couch of its very own, and even a rocking chair. In the old unit, parents had to "fight" over rockers for Kangaroo Care, while dodging bulky equipment like ventilators and portable X-ray machines. In the new unit, rooms are equipped with small fridges, cabinets, a sink, and mirror. I imagine what it would have been like to store breast milk for the girls in the fridge, their home-washed clothes in the cabinets, and having a sink and mirror to freshen up on occasion. There is even a curtain that can be pulled to close out the rest of the world in times of privacy like breastfeeding for the first time, which I did behind a make-shift screen in the middle of a very busy EOPC unit. The sheer amount of privacy possible is incomprehensible to me, when we spent 105 days doing our best to respect the privacy of other babies and their families around us.

I don't regret any moment or experience we had in the EOPC, good or bad. Those moments led us to where we are today and I wouldn't change that for the world. But, I can't help but think of how much different our experience would have been had we been visitors to the new, beautiful unit that rests five floors above the Saint Francis grounds. We certainly have no plans to be parents of patients in the new facility, but as strange as it sounds, I can't stop myself from being thrilled and optimistic for the families of the tiny patients that now inhabit the new EOPC. I can't ever say enough how impactful the staff at Saint Francis was and has been on our lives; the quality of the facility finally matches the quality of the staff. And, in an ideal world, no hospital would have need for a NICU, but if there are fragile and sick babies that come into this world, I can't think of a better place for them to be.

Escape Plan

2009-11-05T08:00:00.000-06:00

I'm never sure of what is going through Madeline's head. What I wouldn't give to spend a few minutes in her thoughts. I'm sure it's fascinating. Lately, she's taken to asking one particular question over and over: "How are we going to get out of here?" The strangest thing is she isn't scared or concerned; there's no worry or anxiety behind the question. She just wants to know. When we went to Disney on Ice during the fair, the first thing she asked was, "Mommy, how are we all going to get out of here?" She didn't comment on the ice, the balloons and cotton candy. She didn't admire the enormous banner painted with the faces of Disney characters she loves and adores. Instead, she wanted to know our escape plan. The only thing I can figure is that they have recently talked about firemen in school. Maybe the talk of firemen led to a discussion of getting out of the house in case of fire? We were always taught in school that every family should have an escape plan in place in case of a house fire. And if Maddie does anything, she pays attention. It may not seem like she is, but I am telling you now, that girl hears everything! Every time she asks, I try and give her a calm and logical answer. So far, that seems to be good enough for her.

The Secret

2009-11-02T12:04:00.003-06:00

Every night, when we put the girls to bed, I ask them if they want to hear a secret. Without fail, of course, they say, "Yes!" So, I lean down and whisper in their ear, "Did you know you're my favoritest Madde/Cadie in the whole world?" They always smile. Yesterday, after I had been gone most of the day for photo shoots, Maddie came up to me and said, "Mommy, do you wanna know a secret?" I replied, "Of course!" Then, she leaned in and whispered in my ear, "You're the greatest Mommy in the whole world." I looked at her sweet face, said "thank you", and tried my darnedest not to cry.

Whole Again

2009-10-26T08:00:00.001-05:00

Today marks the beginning of the first week Jeff will be home EVERY night in six months. Last Spring, he and his business partner started a massive job on a house at Lake Tenkiller. I can't complain because this job has been a HUGE blessing to our family, but I've been ready for it to be over for a couple of months now. Since the start of this job, I've essentially been a single mom during the week, though I've had loads of help from family and friends. It's not even the added responsibility, though, that's had me ready for this job to end. It's simple: I miss my husband. And even more, the girls miss their daddy. The first couple of months they noticed, of course, that he was gone, but didn't really seem to understand the timing of his absence. As they've gotten older, though, and gained a better grasp of time, they've become very aware of him being away. My heart has broken every time Maddie has asked or cried for her daddy because she needs to give him a hug. Every time I've had to rock and cuddle a sobbing Cadie because she misses him so much, my heart has ached. I've missed him, too, probably more than I've realized. Although I've adjusted to taking care of the girls on my own, I've just recently understood how much Jeff's being gone has affected my overall attitude. The past six months I've operated at a level which has left me always feeling just a little sad. On the weekends, I've gotten to see a glimpse of my old self, bubbly, silly, and overall happy. Throughout our twelve year relationship, I guess I never fully understood how much being with Jeff makes me, me.

Last week, I started explaining to the girls that their daddy would once again be home every night very soon. They looked at me, wide-eyed and Maddie said, "You mean we'll get to see him every night?" It broke my heart and made me smile at the same time. Now that Jeff's home, I know we're finally whole again.

Star Student

2009-10-25T08:00:00.002-05:00

This past week at school, Cadie was the "Star Student" for her class. When I picked them up earlier this week, she proudly showed me her certificate stating her "start status". Maddie looked up at me, tears in her eyes and sadness in her voice, and asked where her certificate was. I sighed, knowing this would be something we'd be facing quite frequently in the future. I explained to her that Cadie had won the award this month, but if she continued to be a good girl and a good student in class, she would be sure to win the award sometime in the future. After a couple more whines and a few tears, she accepted my explanation and moved on to wanting to know where her customary cup of root beer and chocolate chip cookie were.

Thank goodness for short attention spans!

Sleep, Interrupted

2009-10-24T08:00:00.000-05:00

I always thought the age of three would be a safe bet for no longer being woken up in the middle of the night. That was something we dealt with when we had newborns, then when the girls were adjusting to their room and sleeping in big girl beds. Age three is supposed to be a safe distance from interrupted sleep, except for the occasional nightmare or thunderstorm. Apparently, Cadie didn't get the memo.

Because Jeff's been working out of town for the past six months, I'm on my own during the week. This means, nearly every night when Cadie wakes up two or three times, it's up to me to get her back to sleep. I don't know if I would be less annoyed by it if she was waking up because of a bad dream or because she was scared; probably so. Lately, though, she's been waking up for no apparent reason. When she calls for me, she isn't frightened, upset, in a panic. She's just sitting in her bed, sometimes needing me to retrieve her doll or Bebe. It usually doesn't take much to get her back to sleep, either, but I'm up enough times to feel the effects the next day. There's something so un-restful about sleep interrupted. If she weren't so darn cute...

Oh, please, let this be a short phase!

What Time Is It?

2009-10-23T08:00:00.001-05:00

At this age, I never really know what is going to come out of the girls' mouths, let alone where they got the idea to say it. Lately, Cadie has been obsessed with knowing what time it is. Usually, I try to answer her, but after I've been asked every two minutes for an hour, I sometimes lose my patience. Who knows why she's constantly asking? Or if the answers of "5:45, half past three, or almost 9" really mean anything to her. I know she understands when my answer is "bedtime", though!

The Silent Treatment

2009-10-22T11:31:00.002-05:00

Every night, after I've tucked the girls into bed, Maddie whines for me to hold her hand for a while. It never fails. I try to explain to her that she's a big girl and that she doesn't need me to hold her hand (though in my head I'm thinking, "You should just hold her hand for a while! It won't be long before she doesn't want to hold your hand anymore!"). I probably would, too, if I didn't know Maddie. If I thought it would help her go to sleep faster, I'd do it in a heartbeat, but with Maddie, it would just prolong her actually falling asleep. She loves a good distraction.

A couple of nights ago, as I tucked her into bed, she responded with the usual, "Mommy, hold my hand for a while!" I leaned over and whispered to her, "Maddie, you have Bebe and Dolly, why don't you hold their hands?" She looked at me, the tone of her voice the equivalent of rolling her eyes, and said, "Ugh. But, Mom, they don't talk!" I chuckled under my breath and proceeded to explain to her that was exactly what she needed, quiet toys to love on so she can go to sleep. She sighed and looking disappointedly at her dolls said, "But I want to talk."

At least she's honest.

Family & Friends Gala

2009-10-15T18:14:00.000-05:00

Every year the March of Dimes here in Tulsa hosts two signature events. The first event being March for Babies in April, the second, Gourmet Gala in October. This past Saturday was this year's Gourmet Gala, the 20th Anniversary, no less. Unfortunately, we weren't able to attend. But, instead of wallowing in self pity, we decided to turn our family dinner celebrating the visit of family member from out of town into our very own Gourmet Gala, Patton style!

So, Saturday morning, my sister-in-law, Kimberly, my mother-in-law, Janet, and I began cooking. And, oh did we cook! We wanted to observe the general set-up of the Gala, which includes a myriad of restaurants that come to serve one of their signature dishes. That evening you don't have a meal, per se, but a taste of what can be expected at the various restaurants that attend. So, we went for variety. Here's the menu:

Potato Skins
Chicken & Artichoke Dip
Spinach Dip in Pumpernickel bread
Chicken Wings
Mock Champagne Punch
Homemade Rolls
Three Bean Salad
Jell-O Pretzel Salad
Brisket
Turkey Sliders
Chicken Stuffed Shells
Corn Chowder
Cinnamon Glazed Carrots
Sweet Potato Casserole
Luscious Four Layer Pumpkin Cake
German Chocolate Cake
Oreo Cookie Dessert
Banana Cream Supreme

Needless to say, no one wanted for food. After a long day's work, we were proud of the spread we laid out. That evening, we enjoyed the fellowship of family and those friends closest to us that we call them family as well, celebrating the friendships we have and the success we've found as a family team for the March of Dimes. And, most importantly, we recognized, as the girls ran around with their friend, Grace, playing and laughing, how lucky we are that the girls are here today.

Keke & Lolo

Mollie & Scuba

Mike & Linda

Julius & Kimberly

Jack & Mike

Grace

The Cooks: Kimberly, Janet, & Me

Jeff's partner, Drew, and his wife, Mindi

The men, gathered round the food

Maddie & Nana

Julie & Grace

Frank, Julie, & Grace

Why Because?

2009-10-07T23:09:00.002-05:00

I've always appreciated a healthy curiosity and imagination. As a teacher, I encouraged my students to have opinions and ask questions. As a parent, I've always tried to answer the girls' inquiries with as realistic an explanation as possible. I've even been complimented for this by complete strangers. Now, I'm being punished.

Cadie's always been our sponge. Recently, it looks as though she is seeking an understanding of all those things she's quietly observed. Her choice phrase these days? "Why because?"

For example:

Cadie: "Mommy, why is that girl wearing those things in her nose?" As she points to a woman who has a nasal cannula for supplemental oxygen.

Me: Trying as discreetly as possible to answer her question. "Because sometimes people need help breathing. Those are in her nose to help her breathe. You and sister had those when you were in the hospital."

Cadie: "Why because?"

Me: "Because you were born early and you were sick, so you needed help breathing."

Cadie: "Oh yeah."

This exchange? Not so bad. I'm happy to explain those unknowns that they are faced with every day, especially when they deal with people being a little different. We came across a kiddo in the mall with a disability that had him confined to a wheelchair and unable to speak or move. Cadie asked why he was in a wheelchair and I proceeded to explain. I don't want them to be afraid of people who are different, but I also want them to know enough that it keeps them from pointing and/or staring.

Not all exchanges are this useful, though. Example:

Cadie: "Mommy, why is that giraffe eating?"

Me: "I imagine it's his lunch time and he's hungry."

Cadie: "Why because?"

Me: "Well, animals get hungry just like we do, so they eat."

Cadie: "Why because?"

Me: (Growing a teensy bit impatient) "Because animals and people both need to eat so they have energy to play."

Cadie: "But, why because?"

Me: "Because that's just the way it is, Cadie."

Sometimes that's just what it comes down to. I even pull out the "Because that's the way God made things" explanation every once in a while. It usually suffices as well. I knew I'd been using the old tried and true, "Because that's the way it is" explanation too many times, though, when the other day Cadie asked me a question, to which I began to explain. A couple of explanations into it, she looked at me and said, "Is it because that's just the way it is, Mommy?" I laughed and said, "That's right!"

First Day of School

2009-10-06T12:35:00.002-05:00

Last year, I had such a hard time with the thought of sending the girls to Mother's Day Out. I wasn't sure if they were ready. This year, September 8th couldn't come soon enough! With Jeff being gone most of the week, I was ready for the break. And, the girls love school; they love spending time with their friends, adore their teachers, and learn so much. They didn't even have to adjust to new teachers, as Ms. Jeri and Ms. Stefanie decided to move classrooms with them.

That morning, we all three reluctantly climbed out of bed. I dressed them both in their new outfits bought especially for their first day, packed their lunches, snapped a quick photo, and we headed out. It took several weeks last year for Cadie to go in to class without tears, so I braced myself for the possibility. Even when she got better, she reverted after I was gone on vacation last spring, so I was crossing my fingers it would be a tear-free morning. As I hoped, there was nothing to worry about. Neither one of them put up the slightest fuss; they were thrilled to be back at school and in a more spacious classroom no less!

That afternoon, I picked them up from school, bringing our traditional cup of root beer and a cookie, their treat for being big girls all day. They chattered excitedly about their day, spouting off friends' names and singing new and old songs. I was relieved they'd had a good day, but I would be lying if I didn't confess that a tiny part of me was sad that they had done so well without me. They truly are big girls now.

2009

2008

They've grown so much!

The End of an Era

2009-10-02T16:34:00.002-05:00

The past couple of months, any moment that includes the girls going to sleep has been a nightmare. I knew what was happening, but thought if I ignored it or finagled around it, I could delay the inevitable. Nap time became a daily chore. I tried everything; lying down with them, separating them, threatening them, staring them down...you name it. Most days, after well over an hour of trying, I would eventually get them to sleep. Each of them would sleep for at least an hour-and-a-half, a short and sweet taste of silence for me. The downside? Bedtime. Refreshed from their afternoon nap, many nights it would be 10 or 10:30 before they would start calming down and dozing off. That put them in their beds for 1 ½ to 2 hours before falling asleep! And, of course, those 1 ½ to 2 hours included me making multiple trips back to their bedroom to console, threaten, fix blankets, answer questions, pick up Bebes or random stuffed animals, give one more sugar or hug, and so on. By the end of the day, I was too wiped to do much more than sit on the couch and lose myself in a TV show of my choice. Nothing was getting done.

So, earlier this week, I finally accepted that the nap era has come to an end. It just became more fight than it was worth. And, how has the week gone? Tremendously well! The girls play well during the day, and although they start getting a little cranky after dinner, they're out just about the moment their little heads hit the pillow at 8 o'clock. The evening has once again become "me time" for mommy, and I'm back to getting things done!

I remember the dread when the morning nap became painfully unnecessary. I treated the loss of their afternoon nap as much the same, but really it's been easy. I think the more painful realization that comes with this change is that it is just another sign that they are growing up. Much too quickly if you ask me.

Epiphany

2009-10-01T12:10:00.000-05:00

Last night, as I lay in bed, winding down from the day, I had one of those moments. It was one of those times in life when the reality of something hits you smack in the middle of the eyes. I've been a mother for nearly three and a half years now, but just last night, the weight of that responsibility came crashing down on me. It isn't like I've spent the first three years of the girls' lives completely unaware of my role as their mom, oblivious to the fact that Jeff and I are 100 percent responsible for raising them to be good, caring, generous, loving, Christ-like, honest individuals. It was just one of those moments that sideswipes you, when the full impact of that responsibility seems terribly heavy.

I'm proud of who the girls are today, always have been. Madeline is clever, silly, surprisingly honest, and very forgiving. She has a laugh that is incredibly contagious, protects her sister, says "please" and "thank you", and doesn't let anyone walk all over her. Cadence is tender-hearted, loving, affectionate, a whiz with puzzles and anything else that requires problem solving. She often puts others before herself, already takes her faith very seriously, and is always ready with an "I love you". I happen to think they're pretty fantastic, but in that moment, I worried that maybe they're too fantastic. Isn't that a horrible thing for a parent to worry? In our world, will their sweet, caring, loving sensibilities be swallowed? Is it possible for them to remain who they are without being trampled by those around them?

In my eyes, it's a mother's job to worry; it's part of who I am. But in that moment, I had to remind myself that we can't protect our children from everything. Many well-meaning parents insulate their children from the bad things in this world, and as a result, their children are ill-equipped to face those situations. I know that it's my job, as Cadie and Maddie's mom, to raise them to be the best Cadie and Maddie that they can be. And I think we're off to a pretty good start.

Dream a Little Dream

2009-09-26T12:52:00.003-05:00

The girls have said things here and there in the past that have led me to believe that they might have had a nightmare. Things like, "That mean boy came in my room and tried to get me" or "There was a scary monster in there last night!" Dreaming is, yet again, another non-tangible that I've found it difficult to explain to the girls. I think, though, I've managed to provide them with at least some understanding. I hate the idea that they are already having bad dreams, but this morning I got confirmation that they are also having good ones. After Jeff had left to go to some appointments, Cadie came and crawled into bed with me, rolled over, and went back to sleep. When she once again woke up, she said to me very excitedly, "Mommy! Do you know what? I helped Marlin find Nemo and get him back to his daddy!" I asked her if she'd had a dream that she helped Nemo's daddy find him, and she smiled back with a "Yes!" Mind you, we haven't watched Finding Nemo in a couple of weeks, but I'm not surprised that my girls dream in Disney. She was so excited and so proud; and I was relieved that all of her dreams aren't the bad kind.

Bare Buns

2009-09-25T15:20:00.003-05:00

This time last week, I decided I'd had enough. Maddie had slid back so far in her attempts at becoming potty trained that she was once again in pull-ups full time and no longer doing anything in the potty. I know my child. And as much as I wanted to make excuses for her -- She's scared because she thinks it will hurt; There's something wrong in her diet that is keeping her from going when she needs to; and so on. The truth of the matter is, she's just too darn stubborn and too darn busy. So I did what any sane parent would do; I took away her pull-ups and her panties and made her spend the day in her bare buns.

Most of the time, my children fully embrace nudity. They love running around naked and having some naked time. They're free spirits. On this occasion, though, Madeline was none too thrilled. She shrieked for some pull-ups, tears running down her cheeks. Two things about this situation I was confident of: 1) Madeline was using her pull-ups as a crutch. She knows she can go in them and the only consequence is an irritated Mommy. Although the feeling isn't pleasant, she can handle some stink in her drawers for a while until it's cleaned up. 2) Madeline would not poop on the floor. This, I just know. So taking away her pull-ups and not allowing her panties or pants meant she had one option: pooping in the potty.

I left the girls with Jeff so I could turn in my fair entries, and imagine my surprise and delight when not ten minutes from home I got a call from a proud Madeline stating she had pooped in the potty (she also elaborated that it was a really, really, really big poop). Not only had she pooped in the potty, but she had done it completely on her own. The day progressed with yet another solo poop, and I hoped that we were finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Since then, Madeline has been a pooper star. I think we've passed the worst and that we are finally on our way to a fully potty-trained household. Both girls were rewarded with some brand new Dora, Spongebob, and Elmo panties. They're so proud of themselves; and Jeff and I are solving problems, one bare bottom at a time!

Well Crumb...

2009-09-23T21:35:00.004-05:00

Call me indecisive, but I'm back. When it comes to all things creative, I get antsy. I couldn't stand not being able to make my blog "cute" on Xanga, so here I am, back at Blogger where I can use super cute templates made by other hardworking, creative, html literate people. So there you go.

Lydia

2009-09-07T15:43:00.002-05:00

I've never claimed to fully understand my children. I knew, with them being twins, that they would likely have a special bond, oftentimes absorbed in their own special world, speaking their own special language. And, as expected, that is the case. They've had a special connection even since they were babies. The day they both could crawl, they took off down the hall on their own little adventure, giggles abounding. As they've gotten older, their special bubble has grown to encompass imaginary play involving cats in the attic, cooking food in their "Old McDonald's", using bobby pins to unlock their doors at "work", and running through the house pretending they are being chased by a monster, at times one of them playing the role of said monster. One part of their play that stands out more than the others, though, is them calling one another "Lydia". It started months ago, I can't even remember the exact moment. But for quite some time now, I'll hear them playing or watch them racing through the house saying, "Come here, Lydia! Hurry or the monster is going to get you!" Or, "I said come here, Lydia. You need to mind or your mommy is going to give you a spankin'!" And, "Where are you, Lydia? We need to get ready to go to the store." I know they aren't referring to an imaginary friend because they are always referring to one another. As far as the name is concerned, I have two explanations. 1.) Their Grana –my stepmom—is named Lydia. We've always tried to refer to grandparents as their assigned name, especially when the girls were younger and they were still learning. As the girls got older, if we slipped and I called Daddy, Jeff, Cadie would give me a stern look and say, "Don't say Jeff, say Da-ddy." There must have been a few instances the girls heard Grana referred to as Lydia, because they quickly learned that was her "real" name. 2.) The girls have a cousin named Lydia. I'm more inclined to go with the former rather than the latter because they have only spent time with their cousin on two or three occasions and it's been almost two years. I think they must have latched onto Lydia's name because they rarely hear anyone refer to their Grandma –Jeff's mom—or Nana –my mom- by their first names. So, it all comes down to this. I blame Poppy –my dad—because he's terrible with names. He oftentimes refers to Lydia by her first name and even went through a stint of calling her "Granny" (which she loved...). Madeline even took to calling her Granny, with a glint of mischief in her eye. Regardless, though, of what name they call one another, I always smile and chuckle because I cherish the bond they have with one another; it's a special one.

Confirmation

2009-08-20T15:46:00.000-05:00

I told you a couple months back about visiting Saint Francis to look through the girls' medical records in hopes of finding information to help us get approved for new insurance. Also, as part of this process, I wrote a letter to Cadie's neurologist, Dr. Benner, asking him to draft a letter explaining that Cadie no long has hydrocephalus. Cadie was released from his care back in July of 2007. I can remember how relieved we were to never have to see him again. Not because of him personally; he's an excellent neurologist and surgeon. He gave Cadie the potential for a future without "hardware" by performing a fairly new surgery. We were relieved at the possibility of never having to see him again because it would be a testament to Cadie's good health. When we left, though, neither Jeff nor I was brave enough to ask the question I'm sure we both were thinking of. If Cadie is released from your care, does that mean she no longer has the potential for hydrocephalus or any other future neurological problems? We'd already been through so much with the girls, we just didn't have the strength to face another worry, so we did what any parent does in our position who wants to keep their sanity: we shoved the concern deep down in the back of our minds and hoped never to have to think of it again. When it came time to get new insurance, though, we were forced to face that concern.

I'm not one to go down without a fight, so when the girls were rejected for coverage, I made it my mission to fight back with everything I had. In my letter to Dr. Benner I explained that it was our understanding that Cadie had completely recovered and was not at risk for any future problems. I clarified, though, that we had no intentions of asking him to write a letter stating so if it wasn't the truth. At least a month passed without a word, so I assumed he was too busy or not interested in responding. Finally, though, last week we received a letter. Jeff and I opened it together, anxious and scared to read what it said, more for fear of hearing what we didn't want to hear than not being able to qualify for different health insurance.

The first paragraph summarized Cadie's treatment upon birth and Dr. Benner's assessment during her hospital stay and subsequent VAD surgery. The second paragraph detailed Cadie's follow-up's with Dr. Benner and multiple CT scans as well as their results.

Finally, that last paragraph answered our question, the one we've silently feared.

"It is felt at this time that she (Cadie) had a transient hydrocephalus from her intraventricular hemorrhage, which has cleared. She is not at any risk for redevelopment of hydrocephalus or other associated neurologic problems."

After reading that final sentence, I looked up at Jeff, tears in his eyes, and I knew he felt the same relief that I felt. It's normal for parents to worry for their children, but at least now we can worry about the everyday things instead. Even if this letter doesn't help our application to be approved, I'm so glad that we tried again because this situation forced us to face a fear. And, praise God, it's the answer we wanted!

Are You There, God? It's Me, Cadie.

2009-08-17T12:52:00.000-05:00

Cadie has always been a good sleeper. When she was a baby, hers was not the crib I was planted next to, constantly reassuring that I was there and that sleep was, in fact, imminent. That was Madeline. As she's grown, Cadie has always been a good napper, somehow managing to fall asleep despite her sister lying in the next bed, talking to her hands, singing songs, and doing everything imaginable to keep from falling asleep. She never even gave us trouble at bedtime. A few months back, though, that all changed.

It began innocently enough during our bedtime ritual when Cadie requested that we leave the closet door cracked, allowing the light to spill into their room. Then, the door to their bedroom had to be left open a certain amount or hysterical cries would ensue. The fear seemed to escalate every night. Jeff and I did everything in our power to soothe her. I knew, though, that we weren't dealing with silly childhood fears when one night I could see the inconsolable fear in her eyes. She was genuinely scared and nothing I tried could soothe her.

That night, Cadie confessed she was worried about someone coming in to her room. I assured her over and over that she was safe in her room, no one was trying to come in, and that Mommy and Daddy would never let anyone hurt her. It consoled her for a few seconds, but soon the tears and cries of fear erupted once again. The severity varied, but it all culminated one night when she simply could not be consoled. I sat with her; Jeff sat with her; I turned her closet light on; we brought her into our bed; we put her back in bed; we brought her back to our bed; and it went on and on. I tried to be patient, but after 3+ hours of being up with her in the middle of the night, my patience and sympathy were wearing thin. What eventually consoled her? Strangely enough, she asked to sleep with her jacket. That's right. Her jacket. As weary and sleep-deprived as I was, I didn't ask. She curled up with that jacket, and after slightly opening her eyes a couple of times to reassure herself that no one was coming to get her, she finally dozed off to sleep.

For the next few months, similar problems crept up here and there, but none quite as dramatic as that first time. She developed a fear of bugs invading her room. It's a fear I haven't been able to quite figure out as Cadie is an animal lover, insects included. During the comfort of day, Cadie's never met a bug she didn't like (except spiders...Mommy's taught her to get those nasty spiders). But something about her bedroom at night releases a newfound phobia of bugs. I've assured her over and over that there are no bugs in her room. She claims to see them, though I see no phantom bugs anywhere. Usually, as long as I assure her over and over that there are, in fact, no bugs in her room, she eventually nods off to sleep and is restful the rest of the night.

Last night, as part of our bedtime routine, we flipped to August 16th in their "Devotions for Preschoolers" book to read the day's devotion and Bible verse. It read:

"Look at the animals sleeping. What do you suppose they are thinking about? What do you think about at night when it's dark? Do you try to remember that God is right there with you? At night, when the lights go out, you can think about God. You can imagine him in heaven looking down at you while you are sleeping your bed. Thinking about God will help you feel peaceful and safe. Then you can have happy dreams!"

I never know what the day's devotion will bring, but I saw this as the perfect opportunity to address Cadie's fears, especially when I noticed her beginning to tear up as I read through the paragraph. I did my best to explain to her that when she is scared at night, she can think about God up in heaven and ask Him to make her feel safe and protected. She looked at me a tad puzzled and asked why God was in heaven. I explained to her that God is up in heaven so He can watch over us. She looked up to the ceiling, then asked where heaven was. I described heaven as a place up in the sky, far above the clouds, above where birds and planes fly, where Jesus sits at God's right hand side, watching over us. She accepted that then asked when she would get to go to heaven. I paused, trying to think of a delicate way to explain. Before I could even begin my explanation, though, she answered herself. She said, "Do you go to heaven when you fall asleep and decide not to wake up again?" I froze in shock, then glanced over at Jeff, a questioned look on my face, I'm sure. We've never broached the subject of death with the girls. It hasn't been necessary so far, and I was worried that it would only give Cadie more nightmares. I'm not sure where she got her explanation, but I was impressed with it's reasonable maturity for her age. Part of me was relieved that she seems to have a fair understanding of death, and one that doesn't appear to include fear. It's difficult trying to explain non-tangibles like death and heaven, but Cadie seems to have an appropriate grasp, at least for her age. I still haven't figured out exactly how I feel about the moment, but I know it was a special one. I don't know that I'll ever forget looking at her tear-stained face, fresh tears of my own silently gliding down my cheeks, and holding her close to me, doing my best to explain the merciful love of God.

In so many ways, Cadie is mature beyond her years. She's the first to give up her toy to avoid the fight she knows will soon follow. She's the sensitive little girl who cries at the end of Bolt, worried that the rescuers won't save Penny and Bolt in time. She's happy to share her food/toy/love with anyone who's willing to accept. She's the one who has always taken prayers so seriously because she knows she's talking to God. My mom always described me as an old soul as a child, and I can't help but see a lot of that in Cadie.

A Fish Tale

2009-08-12T12:23:00.001-05:00

For pretty much the entire summer, my dad has called every weekend to invite Jeff fishing. Due to his current working situation, I haven't been willing to give up any of our time together during the weekend. So, Dad finally got smart and had Lydia, my step-mom, call and invite Jeff to go fishing with Dad first thing in the morning, then the girls, Lydia, and I would meet up with them for lunch and some fun on the boat. Finally, I agreed.

We met up with Daddy and Poppy around noon for some sandwiches, chips and dip, and fresh cantaloupe. The girls were anxious to test out their fishing poles, so we headed to the dock for some "fishing".

One of my favorite stories from my childhood is of a visit we took to see my dad's parents in Texas. I don't remember many of the details, but I do know it involved me fishing for the first time and my Papa Don rigging my fishing pole with a previously caught fish. Just listening to both my dad and Papa Don tell the story, the smiles on their faces, I know it was a special moment. I wanted to recreate something similar for the girls, so I asked Poppy and Daddy to save a fish from their morning fishing trip. Luckily, they caught one that was just the right size. Jeff fixed the girls' fishing poles with loops (I don't know the terminology) rather than hooks, so the fish didn't have a chance at escaping. Then, while Grana, Poppy, and I distracted them. Jeff rigged Cadie's fishing pole with the fish, then later did the same for Maddie. The look on Cadie's face was of complete shock, then utter joy. She's an animal lover, so of course she wanted to kiss the fish. Once Cadie had caught one, Maddie was beside herself with anticipation. Her reaction was equally priceless. They were both so proud!

On our previous trip to Greenleaf --our first camping trip-- the girls were dying to go out on the boat, but the weather wasn't suitable. This time around, I knew we better get the girls on that boat or we would be in trouble. After our fishing excitement, we decided to take the girls on their first boat ride. Life vests on, we hoped in the boat and took off. Their reactions were mixed. It was easy to see that they loved being out on the water and the freedom of zipping across the lake, but I think they were a little wary of the speed. Cadie kept shouting, "Daddy, I want you to go low, not fast!" We weren't out long, but I think the girls enjoyed it all the same.

Before the day was over, we decided to take one last spin around the lake, all of us. The girls seemed a little more relaxed --now being veteran riders and all-- but Cadie continued to demand that Poppy slow down. We slowed down enough to give the girls a chance to cool their feet in the lake. Cadie would have sat their all day, but it was getting late, so we headed back in. We capped the day off with some yummy orange push-up pops, then headed back home, a day of fun and sun behind us.

Eight

2009-07-21T15:33:00.000-05:00

Eight years ago today, Jeff and I became husband and wife. I may no longer have the rainbow and fairy tale ideals of my youth, but I do know that Jeff and I were made for one another. We balance one another out in so many ways. I'm extroverted, while he leans more toward the introverted side. I'm impulsive, where he thinks things through and isn't ruled by his emotions. I sometimes live in a fantasy world, while he is more of a realist. We've been through a lot these past eight years. Probably more than most couples go through in a marriage as young as ours. Looking back, we so easily could be divorced or at the very least, at one another's throats, after what we've endured. The key, though, is that we've endured. We've faced every challenge as a united front. From his business partnership crumbling, to suffering the losses of five special grandparents, to struggling through the challenge of self-employment, and the biggest of them all, the premature birth of Cadence and Madeline, we've managed to continue that balance. Throughout the entirety of Cadie and Maddie's hospital stays, Jeff was a rock. He never waivered, though I know he had to have been suffering inside. I, on the other hand, was an emotional mess, save for one moment. I don't remember the details, though I'm sure we'd been presented with another decision or another setback, but for that one moment, Jeff was the one who broke down. And what was I? I, for once, was the rock. Balance. In the presence of all the wonderful things that make up our marriage -- laughter, affection, admiration, respect, generosity -- balance is what holds our marriage strongly together, never wavering no matter what we face. And, it's why I know we will have many more years of marriage to enjoy. Eight is just the beginning.

Full of It

2009-07-15T15:39:00.000-05:00

Fair warning. For some of you, this post may contain way too much information, but when I started this blog, it was with the purpose of documenting the girls' lives; so, document, I must!

For the past couple of months, Madeline has had "poop problems". She does fine with peeing in the potty and knows when she needs to poop, so it isn't a conceptual issue. She has, however, had severe difficulty sitting on the potty and actually doing the #2 deed. Instead, she hides or squats down and grabs her knees and gets really quiet. If you ask if her if she needs to go potty, she says, "No, I'm just resting". Very quickly, I learned the translation for this statement was, "Yes, I'm going right now. But no force of nature, even one divine, is going to get me on that toilet". I've tried everything; rewards, guilt in the form of claiming that she must not be a big girl if she can't poop on the potty, adjusting her milk and water intakes as suggested by her pediatrician. Nothing helped. She still would complain that she needed to go "poop" to which I would find a smear (sometimes large, sometimes small, but never a turd) of poop on her panties. There were days we would go through 8 pairs of big girl panties. I almost put her back in pull-ups, but determined it would be more cost effective to have to wash multiple pairs of poopy panties than go through multiple pairs of pull-ups in one day. I began to get very frustrated.

So, today I took Madeline in to see Dr. Mayberry to confront her poop dilemma. I explained our issue, then Dr. Mayberry did a physical exam. She had her lay down, then felt her tummy. She looked up at me and said, "Come feel this". To be quite honest, I didn't feel what she was talking about, but I also don't know what it's supposed to feel like! Apparently, though, Madeline is backed up pretty severely. She showed me on her belly just how far she is backed up which measured about five inches. It looks as though Miss Madeline has been holding on to her stool. I expected a nutritional problem to be the explanation, but leave it to Madeline to be stubborn about her poop. That child will take control any way she can; she is extremely hard-headed and is determined to do things her own way.

Dr. Mayberry laid out a plan of action to flush Madeline out, then address the behavioral issue that is behind (no pun intended) the issue. She prescribed an over-the-counter laxative that I'm supposed to give her with juice or water until she is on the verge of diarrhea. Once her system is flushed, the laxative will be weaned. The only explanation I can think of for her holding on to her stool is that she went through a string of about three or four bad bouts of tummy troubles a few months back, resulting in some severe rashes on her bottom. Her skin is extremely sensitive, so her rashes are at least double the intensity of regular rashes. Maybe she associated that pain with pooping and is scared to go anymore? Bottom line, though, is I am supposed to make sure Madeline sits on the potty at least twice a day (preferably after breakfast and dinner), and encourage her to poop. Dr. Mayberry said it may take time for her bottom hole to retract to a normal size so that she senses she needs to go to the bathroom before a large amount has built up. Hopefully, within a couple of weeks, she'll be back on track.

Now, I can't believe I just wrote a post about my daughter's bowel movements. I am sure she is going to SO appreciate this when she gets older. At least, though, I will have proof that, at one point in her life, she really was full of it!

HSM Anonymous

2009-07-14T15:41:00.000-05:00

You all may have heard of a little Disney movie franchise called, "High School Musical". Well, the girls have now, too. I've always been a sucker for movies like that, so when the third installment came out, I added it to my Netflix thinking it would be a harmless one to watch with the girls. What I didn't realize was that three year old girls are, apparently, not immune to the HSM addiction. Now, I've become an enabler to a habit they just can't seem to kick. They love that stuff!

Initially, I recorded the first two when they aired on the Disney channel, but I got tired of having to fast forward through commercials. Plus, the last five minutes of the second movie were cut off in the recording, so every time we watched it, I was met with tear-filled eyes and cries of, "Why did you turn it off, Mommy?" Finally, I broke down and bought the three pack of all three movies through Amazon. And, boy, have I gotten my money's worth.

At first, I was horrified that my three-year-old's had been tainted by the teeny bopper phenomenon. Then, I realized they're drawn to the catchy tunes, the energetic dancing, and the overall good feel of the movies, not the dreaminess of Troy. In fact, their just now getting to where they remember character names, and we're at least 20 viewings into this! They're doing a pretty good job at memorizing songs, though. They love to run around the living room singing, "What Time is It?", "High School Musical", and they're favorite, "Fabulous".

I know a lot of parents cringe at the thought of listening to any of the movies even one more time, but I can't help myself; I love it. And I don't think the girls are going to grow tired of it any time soon. Just this evening, Cadie confessed to me, "I love that Troy boy". Then again, she loves nearly everyone.

I'm Outta Here

2009-05-17T15:55:00.001-05:00

As much as I've enjoyed using Blogger, I've accepted that I'm a Xanga girl at heart. I started the girls' blog on Xanga, and I've decided that's where I need to continue it. There's just too much history. So, starting today, I'm headed outta here and back to Xanga. Check it out here.

We're Here to Pump, You Up

2009-04-30T17:21:00.000-05:00

The past couple of days have been pretty quiet. The girls looked wonderful this evening. Cadie is getting seventeen ml's of milk and she weighs two pounds, thirteen ounces. Maddie is getting fourteen ml's and is now a two pounder! We're starting to see a little more fullness in her cheeks. She is also responding really well to the steroids. They were able to drop her bpm (breaths per minute) rate and her oxygen percentage has been as low as 21% (room air). There still isn't an order for Cadie to receive steroids, so she may get by without them. We talked with Cadie's nurse about Kangaroo Care. We were surprised to hear that she thinks Cadie might be ready as soon as this week. Because they respond so well, they like to start Kangaroo Care as early as possible. We will have to see what the policy is of the girls' new neonatologist. Dr. K has gone to Hillcrest Medical Center for the summer, so we have a new doctor, Dr. Lawson. I'm a little nervous about them getting a new doctor. What if he has a completely different way of doing things? None of that matters, though, as long as the girls are getting the best possible care.

Three Year Check-up

2009-04-24T23:41:00.001-05:00

The girls had their three year check-up today. It was so nice, taking them in for their appointment, without the anxiety of impending shots or fear. They were actually excited about it, the little social butterflies that they are.

We played in the exam room for what felt like hours – Maddie slid behind my back while standing on the chair and played with my hair, then Cadie took her turn, and tortured me while she “fixed” my hair.

Dr. Mayberry came in and made the comment that I’ve been thinking for weeks now: “Are they really three?” She continued on with the explanation that she thought surely the information was wrong. I’ve said it over and over, but it seems like just yesterday we had their 2nd birthday party. I’m getting old.

Cadie and Maddie were very cooperative when it came to the measurements. It’s amazing how much can change in just six months. This time October, they both were bawling as they laid on the exam table. This year, they were thrilled to see the squiggly lines on the paper indicating just how tall they’ve gotten. I love it.

Dr. Mayberry was very pleased to see that the girls are continuing on a steady growth curve; they’re even on the charts for both height and weight. Cadie is 38 inches tall and weighs 26 lbs. 7 oz. Maddie is 37 inches tall and weighs 26 lbs. 8 oz. Cadie has been about an inch taller for ages now, and Maddie always weighs just a tad more. So that puts Cadie in the 75th percentile for height, 10th percentile for weight, and Maddie in the 65th percentile for height and 10th percentile for weight. They’re obviously still small for their age, but as long as they continue to follow a steady growth pattern Dr. Mayberry is happy and so am I.

Before we left, the girls were even brave enough to perform a few tricks. Maddie proudly said her Pledge of Allegiance. That’s right…I said PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE. Both girls know it now. They can even wrap their little mouths around the word “indivisible”. I’m so proud! Then, Cadie followed up with a beautiful rendition of the Alphabet Song. Maddie’s taken to singing it with an impressive (a word I’m sure only a mother would use) falsetto, so it was a good thing Cadie performed a solo. And the grand finale? Maddie performed what she calls her “best trick” – a trick she does with her tummy that I’m not sure can be described with words. I need to get it on video…

The best news of the whole visit? The girls don’t have to go back until they’re 4. I imagine that’s probably typical for most kids, but that’s a pretty big deal for Cadie and Maddie. They’ve had routine check-ups at least every six months since they were born to monitor their development and growth. We must be doing something right!

March for Babies 2009

2009-04-15T14:47:00.010-05:00

It's that time of year again. Our family team, the Patton Preemies, will once again be participating in the March of Dimes annual event, March for Babies, on Saturday, April 25th. This year, the event is going to be downtown. Our team will be there in full force with an expected 40+ people walking as part of our team. Many of you know that this event --as well as the March of Dimes -- is very near to our hearts, so we would love for you to join us and show your support!

If you can't attend, but would love to support us in another way, please consider making a donation to our team. You can do so HERE. I know times are tough financially for most people, so even if you can only give $5, your donation WILL make a difference. We've set our family team goal at $6,000. We've currently raised $3,755, so we will still have a ways to go before Monday, April 20th.

If you've just recently had a baby or know someone who has, think of how different your life would be if that baby was still in the hospital, fighting for life every day. That was our reality three years ago. Each day brought new struggles, but also new successes. We didn't know if we would ever bring the girls home. I wasn't even brave enough to take the tags off of any of their new clothes or the bedding for their cribs until days before we brought them home for fear that we wouldn't. The March of Dimes is a HUGE part of the reason the girls are alive and well today, as well as hundreds of thousands of other babies around the world. Who knows what other discoveries there are to be made to help other babies like Cadence and Madeline? The only way we will ever know is if we continue to fund research that makes a difference.

Thank you all for your support over the past three years. We formed our team just two weeks after the girls were born in 2006. Since then, we've raised nearly $22,000 as a family team! Our success is due to the continued generosity and support you've shown our family and we'll never be able to fully express our gratitude.

Thank You!

We are Cadie and Maddie

2009-04-08T15:10:00.000-05:00

Today, we were out playing in the backyard in this glorious weather when Cadie announced, “I am Cadie, she is Maddie. We are Cadie and Maddie!” I’ve always been super sensitive about the girls being lumped together as one simply because they are twins. I even ranted about it to my poor mother-in-law over the weekend because the bakery woman at Reasor’s had the nerve to assume the girls would split a free cookie instead of each getting one of their own. Apparently, though, Cadie doesn’t have the same concerns regarding the issue as I do. She’s proud to be “Cadie and Maddie” and I certainly would never take that away from her. I’ll always be the girls’ number one advocate, whether it be protecting them from a stingy bakery employee or helping them establish their own identities outside of being twins, but it made me stop and think that maybe I should lighten up a bit and just be happy I have a “Cadie and Maddie”. So, there you go. My three year old taught me something today.

It's a Miracle!

2009-04-04T21:57:00.001-05:00

It doesn’t seem possible, but today my babies turned three years old. One of the birthday presents they received is a book of devotions for preschoolers. We’ve established a routine of praying before bed every night, and now we can start reading from the devotional every morning to start the day off right.

The book was marked with a sticky note on the girls’ birthday, so I immediately turned to that page. I got chills as I read the title of that day’s devotion, “It’s a Miracle!” The devotion read:

“Jack is trying to catch a fish. As he waits, he watches a waterfall splash into the pond. Then he sees a beautiful rainbow. ‘Wow!’ says Jack. ‘It’s a miracle!’ Have you ever seen a rainbow? Only God can put a rainbow in the sky. That’s why Jack called it a miracle. God can do many marvelous things because no one is as powerful as He is.”

As I read that paragraph, I was once again reminded just how blessed we are and just how miraculous it is that Cadie and Maddie are happy, healthy, and here with us today. I thank God every day that He is a God of miracles and that we were fortunate enough to be blessed with two. Happy Birthday Cadence and Madeline. We love you.

“You are the God of miracles and wonders! You demonstrate your awesome power among the nations.” Psalm 7:14, NLT

March Madness

2009-03-28T23:45:00.000-05:00

No, I’m not referring to the NCAA basketball tournament. I’m referring to the insane snowfall we received today! I’d estimate we got four to five inches of snow accumulation…at the end of March, no less. It just kept coming down. So, our day included a lot of improvised activities and a whole lot of fun.

We started off the morning with some comfort food, homemade French toast. We do things a little differently in the Patton household. I grew up on French toast with “goop”, not syrup. And believe me, the goop (butter, powdered sugar, water, and cinnamon) makes all the difference! The girls love French toast, but Cadie has a special fondness for it. I watched her tiny mouth practically inhale a full piece in just a couple of minutes. Yum!

Next, I was inspired to conduct an impromptu Easter egg hunt. For practice, of course. The girls were all giggles and excitement, squealing with delight every time they located a hidden egg. Jeff and I took turns hiding, jumping from room to room. We did four rounds all together, and I think the girls were just as excited the fourth time around as they were the first, if not more. Now, I can’t wait for the real thing!

Catching a ride to their bedroom so I can hide eggs.

They looked EVERYWHERE!

Before we knew it, it was time to eat. So, Daddy fired up the stove and cooked us some cheesy dogs. Nothing like some processed meat to cure that insatiable hunger!

It was finally time for the girls to take a nap, so they retreated to their toasty beds, but only after promises of playing in the snow once they woke up.

We’ve been a healthy household for a few weeks now, so Jeff and I may have gone a little overboard in preparing the girls for our frolic in the snow. They each had on: tights, two pairs of pants, socks, long sleeve shirt, sweat shirt, snow jacket, snow boots, gloves, and a hat. I wanted them to enjoy the snow without all of us having to pay the price later.

Cadie absolutely LOVED the snow. I am sure she would have spent the entire day outside playing in it if we let her. Maddie enjoyed it as well, but became tired of it once her little hands started getting cold and her nose and cheeks turned a little red.

We attempted a snow man. Jeff went for the “roll massive balls of snow and attempt to stack them on one another” approach. It wasn’t very successful. The entire structure collapsed as soon as he tried to stack the second ball on the first. Oh well.

Pretty impressive, huh?

Only in Oklahoma will you see lush, green fescue under inches of snow.

Cadie couldn't resist the slide.

My Girls

About twenty minutes later, we dragged the girls back into the house with promises of dinner. As I was preparing dinner, a brilliant thought occurred to me: snow ice cream. So I sent Jeff to claim some of the fresh snow for our dessert. I grew up eating snow ice cream and remember at is as a special treat. As an adult, I’m not sure what is so great about it, but it still gives me warm fuzzies when I think about that childhood memory. I want that for the girls, so we made some. It was pretty tasty and the girls absolutely loved it!

After today, I am even more ready for tank tops and flip-flops, but I’m glad we have this day of freezing fun to look back on.

She's a Scream

2009-03-23T14:24:00.002-05:00

You know Cadie? Sweet, innocent, loving, shy, little Cadie. Turns out, she’s a screamer. She doesn’t get upset very often, and it takes a lot to set her off, but when she does, plug your ears. I was simply beside myself this morning when the girls began fighting over a chair and in complete and utter frustration, Cadie threw her head back and screamed at the top of her lungs with all the strength and gusto her little frame could possibly posses. Part of me was waiting for her head to start spinning. Her little face was bright red, then out came the waterworks. Madeline usual gets what she wants when there’s an argument because Cadie just shrugs it off like it isn’t worth it. Madeline better watch out, though, because when it’s something Cadie really cares about, she’ll fight for it. It’s a win-win situation. I don’t want Cadie to be a door mat, and I certainly don’t want Maddie to be a bully.

Divide and Conquer

2009-03-03T22:45:00.001-06:00

Naptime is just about to drive me nuts. Cadie is so easy; Maddie, not so much. If there is one thing I could change about that child, it would be her sleeping habits. I love her dearly, but enough is enough!

I was beginning to wonder if maybe she had outgrown naps altogether, but after a no-nap Sunday, I changed my mind. She definitely still needs one. The trick is getting her to actually go to sleep – without me lying next to her, telling her to do so over and over and over.

Today, after various threats and a noticeable increase in my blood pressure, I decided to try a new tactic – divide and conquer. Spending just a tiny bit of time alone with one of the girls makes it very obvious that they feed off of one another, especially Madeline. She’s a performer; it’s what she thrives off of. Take away her audience, and she’s a completely different person. So, this afternoon, I hauled Maddie into our bedroom, propped her up on Daddy’s pillow, and told her to take a nap. Twenty minutes later, both girls were out.

Mission Accomplished.

Now if I could just figure out bedtime. It’s 10:45 at night, and I can still hear her in there talking to herself…

Umm...Excuse Me?

2009-02-28T22:57:00.001-06:00

For a while now, the girls have been relentless in repeating nearly everything we say. It started innocently enough; we just had to watch what we said. For the past six months or so, though, I’ve had the opportunity, on occasion, to hear what I must sound like to them because they’ve taken to repeating a selection of my commonly-used phrases.

The first time I overheard one of them say, “You’re driving me nuts!” while they played, I just about couldn’t stop laughing. It’s not uncommon, too, to hear one of them scolding their dolls, “I told you, no!” or “Go sit in the corner!” Sometimes I wonder if I’m more of a tyrant than I thought I was! On the other hand, they both are awfully sweet when they baby their dolls, so I must be doing something right.

Their most recent phrase of choice is, “Umm…Excuse me?” It’s something I’ve been saying to them a lot in recent weeks, and I’ve continued to say it because it works. If one of them is doing something they know they shouldn’t, all I have to do is say, “Excuse me?” and I have their attention immediately. I guess I didn’t realize how frequently I was saying it, though, because I was completely caught off guard the first time one of the girls repeated it. Now, they say it ALL THE TIME. If someone – anyone – is doing something they aren’t supposed to be doing, you can bet Cadie, Maddie, or both of them will call them on it. The most ridiculous part of it all is I can’t seem to stop myself from continuing to say it!

On the Mend

2009-02-19T12:38:00.002-06:00

I imagine many of you are wondering why I haven’t posted about our Disney World trip, yet. Well, when it rains, it pours.

Since we’ve been home (last Thursday), we haven’t had much down time. We celebrated my little sister’s birthday Friday evening, Valentine’s Day Saturday evening, and Cadie started getting sick on Sunday. Her breathing became very ragged and labored that evening, and she was restless all night. I think we got a combined two to three hours of sleep. So Monday morning, sleep-deprived and bleary-eyed, I called the pediatrician and made an appointment. She rested in my lap all morning until I finally drug her mattress into the living room, propped her up, and allowed her to rest like a queen. She loved it.

My first thought was RSV, but my gut kept telling me it was pneumonia. My gut was right. Dr. Mayberry wasn’t in the office Monday, so we saw Dr. Freed. He was concerned about how tight her breathing was, so we did some X-rays – Cadie’s first since the hospital – and some breathing treatments. He also measured her oxygen saturation using a Pulsox. She was “satting” around 94 (out of 100). Cadie did really well with the X-rays. I couldn’t ask for a better sick kid. She’s quiet, still, and very cooperative. She stood totally still, giggling just occasionally, and we got two X-rays on the first try. The technician asked if it was okay for me to stay in the room with her. She hesitated, then asked if there was a possibility I was pregnant. I laughed and left it at that.

Once we got back to the exam room, we started the breathing treatment. Cadie did breathing treatments for about a year after she came home from the hospital, but they were very different from this one. She used to do her breathing treatments with a mask connected to a chamber through which the medicine was pumped distributed from something similar to an asthma inhaler. It was a couple of pumps, then we were done. This is a lot more involved. The medicine is squirted into a chamber that connects to a piece that goes in Cadie’s mouth. Then, the medicine is vaporized using a nebulizer. All in all, it takes about 15 to 20 minutes for the whole process. Once Dr. Freed mentioned breathing treatments, I felt a lot better about Cadie’s condition. She’s always responded very well to breathing treatments.

The improvements were evident right away. He examined after the first treatment and could tell her breathing had already loosened up substantially. Dr. Freed ordered another breathing treatment, so we sat through the whole process again. After the second treatment, Cadie was starting to act like her usual self, and Dr. Freed was very happy with her progress. After the second treatment, she was “satting” around 91 (he explained the phenomenon of the sat actually going down after treatments before rising again, but I’m not going to bore you with it), so we had to wait a while for the treatments to show results on the Pulsox. Finally, about two hours later, things were looking much better. I wasn’t surprised when they had to move the monitor to her toes to get a decent reading on the Pulsox. That’s where we had to keep it to get a good reading when she was a baby. These things, I guess, don’t change. Dr. Freed sent us home with a nebulizer, a prescription for Albuterol (the steroid that goes with the nebulizer), a prescription for an oral steroid, and an antibiotic. He advised us that we wouldn’t need to bring Cadie in for a check-up unless she didn’t appear to be getting better.

That night, both of the girls crashed from exhaustion. Cadie slept really well and woke the next morning a changed kiddo. She’s done really well with her breathing treatments, putting up only the occasional protest. She’s not a big fan of the oral medicine (who is?), but as long as Maddie and I chant, “Drink, drink, drink, drink!” she giggles and chugs it all down. Her breathing was noticeably improved right away. The wheezing disappear almost immediately and her coughing lessened to just enough to break up the congestion.

Yesterday, Maddie started showing signs of not feeling well. Once we found out Cadie was sick, I started taking precautions to make sure they shared as few germs as possible. I don’t think Maddie has pneumonia, just a touch of something else, but I’m doing my best to make sure it’s not passed back to Cadie.

Last night, Maddie was having a hard time resting, so I brought her into our room with intentions of letting her sleep with Daddy until I finished up with my tasks for the evening. As I carried her to our room, I had the privilege of being thrown up on for the very first time. I’ve felt like a mom for ages now, but it’s nice to know I’ve experienced another rite of passage. Bless her heart, I got her cleaned up and showed her how to be sick over the potty. She was upset, but kept it together pretty well. After I got her new jammies on her, she curled up in bed with a very brave daddy and fell asleep. She slept well the rest of the evening, and woke with only a mild temperature this morning. It seems she, too, is on the mend.
Please don’t let the cycle start again!

We Were Sick

2009-02-04T08:45:00.000-06:00

Last Wednesday, I wrote about Cadie’s newfound heartache over the circumstances of their premature birth. It was an incident that took me totally off guard and left me a little dumbfounded. Over the past few days, though, it seems as though the girls have come to terms with Cadie’s heartache in their own way.

The memory of the video obviously stuck with them because the very next day they began announcing, “We were sick…when we were born. But, the doctors took care of us, and so did Mommy and Daddy. We’re not sick anymore.” They were repeating all the assurances I had given them the day we watched the video. Again, I was blind-sided. So, there I sat, watching my two-year-old twin daughters comforting one another, already wise beyond their years.

They’ve since continued to discuss their birth both with each other and with me and Jeff. And, I’ve since continued to be amazed by the two beautiful blessings before me.

From the Mouths of Babes

2009-02-03T22:45:00.004-06:00

For several months now, we’ve had the same bedtime routine: baths, jammies, brush teeth, drink of water, go to the potty, bedtime story, lights out (nightlights not included). Three or four months ago, though, we added a new part to the routine, bedtime prayers. The girls are old enough to understand the concept to a certain degree and they need to start developing a reverence for speaking to God, so we decided it was time to get started.
Now, every evening, the girls say their bedtime prayer:

"Dear Jesus,

Thank you for my mommy and daddy.

Thank you for my grandmas and grandpas.

Thank you for my aunts and uncles.

Thank you for my cousins and all my friends.

Thank you for my sister.

Please be with me always.

In Jesus' name,

Amen."

I was amazed when, after a couple of nights, they both started picking up on the order. It’s a long list –one that could have been much longer if we hadn’t lumped people into groups – so I wasn’t expecting them to have it memorized right away.

Now, Cadie is very particular about saying her prayers. First, you have to have your hands in the proper position, palm to palm, in the traditional position, with eyes closed and your head bowed. If you don’t do it right, she will bug you until you do. This evening, she got through the entire prayer with minimal prompting. For some reason, she takes it a lot more seriously than Maddie does. I think of Cadie as an old soul, though, so maybe that has something to do with it.

Tonight, after our stories and prayer, Cadie put her own spin on things. She declared that she wanted to say her prayers by herself. Jeff and I couldn’t help but smile when we heard,

"Dear Jesus,

Thank you for my aunts and uncles.

Thank you for my daddy and for my mommy.

Thank you for my Maddie.

In Jesus' name,

Amen!"

Nothing could be sweeter than prayers to Jesus from the mouths of babes.

Turd is the Word

2009-02-02T14:51:00.001-06:00

Yesterday afternoon, Maddie was getting cleaned up after a #2 in her pull-ups, so Jeff requested that Cadie bring him the “wipies”, our nickname for baby wipes. As Cadie brought them to the bathroom, Maddie matter-of-factly declared that they are actually called, “turd wipes”. I don’t what it is with my children and their embracing of the word turd, but this is not the first occasion they have found excuse to use it. I promise it’s not a word I use on a daily basis, but it must have struck a chord with them because they use it with inexplicable fondness. Jeff laughed, then spent the rest of the day calling their pull-ups “turd catchers”. That’s right, not only do we expose our children to words like “turd”, but we also encourage the usage by presenting them with new phrases containing the word. Luckily, it doesn’t look like “turd catchers” has caught on, but it’s becoming more and more clear that we aren’t raising two prim and proper girls. These girls can talk turds with the best of ‘em!

Heartache

2009-01-28T15:38:00.006-06:00

This morning, I’d had just about enough of Dora the Explorer and Go, Diego, Go!, so I decided to thumb through the massive book of DVD’s hiding in our TV armoire to find something kid appropriate. Rifling through the pages, I happened across the video I made for the girls’ first birthday. We used to watch that thing over and over for months after their birthday, but hadn’t seen it in at least a year. So, I popped it in the DVD player for the three of us to enjoy and reflect on.

It all started well; the girls jumped and danced to “Little Bitty Pretty One” when the music started on the menu screen. The video began to play and I returned my attention to my half-eaten lunch. Then, out of nowhere, Cadie was moping across the room, fresh tears pooled in her eyes and her bottom lip quivering. I could tell she wasn’t upset about a toy, her sister pushing her, or something else of that nature. She was genuinely distraught. I pulled her up into my lap and asker her what was wrong. Immediately, the tears began to flow. The video was clearly upsetting her. My first instinct was to cut the TV off, but I decided against it. The pictures that flashed across the screen were her past, something she should be proud of. What she went through in those first months of life helped shape her into who she is today, a wonderful little girl with a beautiful heart and tender spirit. Then, I was confused. How many times had we watched this very same video with a very different reaction? Usually, the girls squeal with delight each time their faces appear on the screen. They’re even able to pick out who is who. I didn’t understand, but it was important to me that we continued to watch and talk about what they were seeing. We shared a good cry, then I began offering commentary every time a new picture appeared. “Oh, look at that picture of Cadie! Isn’t she so pretty?” “Yes, Maddie, you have a tube in your mouth. That tube helped you breathe because you were very sick and couldn’t do it by yourself.” “See? You’re getting bigger Cadie. That’s right before you ate from a bottle for the first time.” Eventually, the tears slowed, only picking up here and there, until her mild hysteria ceased, then slowly transformed to a smile. As we watched our way through those first few difficult weeks, it was like watching her healing and growing all over again right before my eyes. I knew all was well again when I felt her began to dance on my lap with the introduction of an upbeat song. The worst was over.

I really can’t say what prompted today’s heartache. I hope and pray that video didn’t stir up any bad memories; I hope they don’t remember anything from that time in their lives. It’s possible that Cadie’s very tender heart was just upset by how visibly sick and fragile they both were after they were born. I don’t want her to be afraid of those images, though. I want her to be proud.

Cadence - 4/4/06

Cracktastic

2009-01-28T08:10:00.000-06:00

I don’t mean to be crude, but I really can’t think of a polite way to say it. My daughters have a problem with crack – of the butt persuasion, that is. Bless their hearts, they can’t keep up a pair of pants to save their lives. The problem is their little waists require a smaller size, while their heights demand something closer to their actual age. It’s a lose-lose situation. They either wear high waters or low riders. Since it’s cold outside, I went with the low riders… they can always wear a long shirt! In this respect, they are their Poppy’s grand-daughters.

A Tale of Snot

2009-01-27T15:51:00.000-06:00

Last night, we were making our way through our typical bedtime routine, when Cadie insisted that she give Maddie night-night sugars and hugs. It’s something new they’re both insisting on and why would we squash and opportunity for sisterly love? In truth, it’s probably just another opportunity to get out of bed and delay the inevitable bedtime, but I’ll take that over, “Mommy, I need to go potty!” any day.

So, Cadie leaned in and gave Maddie her best “monster” hug, then moved in for the kiss. I can only guess that, due to the dim lighting conditions, Cadie failed to notice Maddie’s upper lip condition because she quickly pulled away with an audible “Ew!” and said, “She got snot on me!” Oh, the sweet sounds of bedtime.

High Five

2009-01-26T21:45:00.000-06:00

Last Friday morning, Cadie woke up with a strong conviction that she wear big girl panties. I’m not want to fuss in the am (I’m not much of a morning person), so I obliged. I was impressed when naptime approached without a single accident. Not only had she made it half the day without messing herself, every single time she went to the potty, it was solo event. She did it all; walk back to the bathroom, pull down her pants and panties, get up on the potty, get her own tissue and wipe, get back off the potty, pull her panties and pants up, flush the potty, and leave the bathroom. I thought to myself, “This can’t possibly last!”

So, imagine my surprise, when she woke from her nap with completely dry Pull-ups (I believe in my daughter, but I’m also realistic, so Pull-ups were very much a part of the naptime equation). Her big girl panties went right back on, and the day continued accident free. Fast forward three days and nothing has changed. That’s right, folks, Cadie has not had a single accident in four days! I won’t even pretend to take any credit for her spontaneous potty training. Sure, we’ve taught her how the potty works, that it’s better to go in it rather than her panties, etc., but she did all the hard work. I can’t imagine why I’m surprised. Why would this particular developmental milestone be any different than the others? Cadie has always decided when she’s ready to do something, then done it. Simple as that.

Now, every time Cadie uses the potty, we honor it with her celebratory recognition of choice, a high five. After she washes her hands, of course.

The Christmas Train

2009-01-25T15:31:00.000-06:00

I saw billboard advertisements for the Christmas Train in November, and my curiosity was immediately piqued. The girls are into anything train related, and since we weren’t able to ride the train in Eureka Springs, I thought maybe this Christmas Train would make up for it. So, I asked the family if they wanted to go, and we told the girls the good news. Little did I know, there are a limited number of tickets and a limited number of dates. So, when the tickets are gone, they’re gone. Needless to say, I checked on a Friday and found four open days; I went back the next evening to purchase our tickets and they were completely sold out. Sold out in less than a day! I was shocked, then devastated. I’m embarrassed to say that I actually cried. I was so upset for the girls, and I felt guilty for promising and getting them excited about a train ride that I wouldn’t be able to give them.

After I got over my disappointment a little, I started checking Craigslist for extra tickets. There were a couple of brief glimmers of hope, but they all fizzled out with, “Sorry, I already sold them.” Finally, though, my sister forwarded an email to me from someone selling tickets. By the time I got in touch with her, she’d already sold them, but she told me her sister was possibly interested in selling hers. Long story short, I had an email the next morning saying she had four tickets for us to go to the Christmas Train. Hallelujah!

I decided not to tell the girls the good news until I had those tickets in my hand, but Cadie squealed with joy when we pulled up to Dry Gulch and came face to face with a massive train. She immediately asked if we were going to ride it, and so help me, I couldn’t tell her “no”. Luckily, the woman who was selling her tickets came through, and we found ourselves in 19 degree weather in the middle of Dry Gulch USA. We thought it best to go straight to the train, even though there were other things to do. We didn’t have to wait in line too long, and we were relieved to see that they had more than one train running. The girls were beside themselves, grinning through their chattering teeth. There was plenty of room on the train –which was, thankfully, enclosed—and the windows were plenty big for the girls to see. So, we sat back and enjoyed as the Christmas Train wheeled us through the forest full of pictures depicting the story of Jesus. They had live scenes mixed in here and there, and the girls were excited when they saw baby Jesus. I was surprised by how emotionally touching the whole thing was. It was moving watching the story through the girls’ eyes, their innocence.

After the train ride, Cadie unsurprisingly asked if we could ride again. I had to explain to her that we were only allowed to go once. We opted to search out some grub, but made the unfortunate mistake of passing the playground on the way. Under other conditions, I would have been happy to allow the girls to play for an hour. This particular evening, though, was the coldest we’d had all winter and the girls’ red noses and frosty breath were proof enough. We allowed them a couple of trips down the slide, then pried them from the playground and headed to dinner.

After our bellies were full of tasty –and surprisingly, not ridiculously expensive—barbecue, we ended the evening with a ride around the carousel. The girls are suckers for carousels, and we’re suckers for the girls, so a ride –despite the freezing temperature—was inevitable. Amid the sounds of chattering teeth, we heard squeals of joy and delight, so it was worth it. The perfect ending to a perfectly frosty evening!

Patton Family Christmas

2009-01-18T14:32:00.000-06:00

Since we spend the majority of the Thanksgiving holiday with Jeff’s family, we in turn, spend the majority of the Christmas holiday with my family. So, for the past couple of years, we’ve gotten together with Jeff’s family a couple of weeks before Christmas to celebrate. We all gather at Jeff’s parents’ house, play games, eat a tasty dinner, open gifts, and stay the night. This year, we celebrated with Jeff’s mom and dad and his brother, Julius, and his wife, Kimberly.

We started off with a delicious steak dinner, stuffing ourselves nearly as badly as we had on Thanksgiving. Then, we moved on to presents because who can wait too long when there are two two-year-old’s lurking around? The girls got a bunch of fun stuff including Doodlebops microphones, a cash register, and an Aquadoodle mat. Finally, after some fierce Mario Kart on the Wii –that was a sight I never thought I would see, Jeff’s parents playing Mario Kart! – we all settled in to bed.

The next morning, we continued the festivities by making a gingerbread train. The girls love gingerbread and trains, so it was a good option all around. In the end, a lot more candy and icing ended up in mouths (including Daddy’s) than on the train, but it was a lot of fun.

All in all, it was another fun Patton Family Christmas!

Bright Lights, Big City

2009-01-18T08:34:00.000-06:00

Every year, Rhema Bible College puts on a spectacular display of Christmas lights. Actually, ‘display’ is such an inadequate word to describe what they do, but it’s the best I can come up with. Some years it’s far too cold to get out an enjoy, so we just drive through in the car. This year, though, we got lucky with some wonderful weather early on in December, so we took advantage of it. The girls really enjoyed the event last year, so I knew they would love it even more this time around. They ‘ooh-d’ and ‘ahh-d’ as we journeyed through the jaw dropping, sparkle of lights that is Rhema at Christmas time. This year’s production was more impressive than any could remember in the past. They had a new set-up towards the front of lights that coordinated with music arrangements. It was amazing. As expected, the girls had a wonderful time, and you can bet we’ll be attending again next year.

Old Lady Glasses

2009-01-17T12:20:00.000-06:00

December 1st, we took the girls in for their semi-annual appointment with Dr. Groves. Maddie still has to be checked to make sure her right retina is still firmly intact and showing no signs of going anywhere, while Cadie’s vision has to be checked for changes in her prescription. One of the nice things about the girls having had doctors’ appointments regularly since they were born? They don’t get scared anymore. It’s just another day to them. Both girls did really well with their exam, and we were happy to hear that Maddie’s eyes still look completely healthy and that Cadie’s vision was much the same. No prescription changes for her. Maddie had to have her eyes dilated for the exam, so she was offered some special glasses to protect her eyes from the sun as we left. Of course, knowing trouble would be brewing in the very near future, I asked if Cadie could have a set as well. They wore them the whole way home and just long enough for me to get a quick picture. They reminded me so much of the huge, dark glasses that people wear as they get older. Cracked me up!

Farkletastic

2009-01-17T11:39:00.000-06:00

Every year, the day after Thanksgiving, we celebrate the Family Farkle Festival. This year marked the festival’s sixth anniversary. We gathered, once again, at Jack and Janet’s house for the celebration. Those in attendance were: Roger & Babs Cheatham; Sarah Cheatham; Josh Cheatham; Jeffrey, Emily, and Rebekah Harris; Julius & Kimberly Patton; Jack & Janet Patton; Jeff, Cheri, Cadie, and Maddie Patton; and Kelly & Laura Greenleaf. We had just as much fun as ever, laughing and heckling while we played. The big winners were:

Babs Cheatham – Lowest Individual Game & Worst Farkler
Roger Cheatham – Highest Individual Game & 3rd Place
Emily Harris – 2nd Place
Kimberly Patton – Most Flat Out Farkles
Laura Greenleaf – 1st Place
Jeffrey Harris – Lucile Cheatham Congeniality Award

I know, I know…we’re a weird bunch. But, we have so much fun, and it’s always such a good time, a way to let loose and just enjoy being together as a family. If it makes you feel any better, we only get to do this once a year. Never heard of Farkle? Let your imagination run wild, then Google it.

Turkey Day

2009-01-14T08:30:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving is always a big holiday with Jeff’s family, and this year was no exception. Jeff’s cousin, Emily, has a little girl a little over a year younger than the girls, so I knew they would have a fun time playing together. This year, since the girls require less wrangling, I got to be more of a participant in the kitchen. I love cooking, and Thanksgiving is always one of those opportunities to show what you’re made of. I took orders and dove in with the best of them. The meal was fantastic, and looking around the table after everyone had stuffed themselves, it was quite filling as well. The rest of the day was spent enjoying the unseasonably warm weather, the girls playing on the front porch swing and running up and the down the sidewalk “runway”.

We continued with our yearly tradition of sitting in a circle and, in turn, sharing how our year has been and what we’re most thankful for. It’s amazingly easy to get caught up in the triviality of every day life, but this exercise has always helped us to look past that and remember (and share with family) what really matters and how truly blessed we are. We were blessed with the best year of business Jeff has ever had. His new business partner has been such a boost to his work in the financial, emotional, and spiritual senses of the word. The girls were blessed with excellent health, always better than they should have given their premature births. They’ve grown into amazing and inspiring little girls, starting new adventures like school and making us smile with the phrases that come out of their little mouths. I have been blessed with a business that has far exceeded any and all expectations and rekindled a love for something I never thought I could do professionally. The list could go on…

That evening, we settled into leftovers, enjoyed different games scattered about, and fellowshipped with family we get to see far too little of. It was another good Thanksgiving Day.

Keep It Clean

2009-01-13T15:30:00.000-06:00

The girls have always loved bath time. They would spend hours in the tub if we would let them. Recently, they’ve taken to enjoy an occasional soak in our Jacuzzi tub. They don’t go for the jets, but they love bubbles. I’m thankful every night when they squeal with delight at the question, “Are you ready for a bath?” Part of me winces, prepared for the time that “yes” is a “no”. So far so good, though. The girls are perfectly content spending the rest of the evening with “raisin toes”.

Grandma's Party

2009-01-13T08:45:00.000-06:00

This past November, the girls’ Grandma (Jeff’s mom) celebrated a milestone birthday, number 65. We celebrated with a big birthday bash. Decked out in our finest, we gathered to eat some tasty appetizers, roast and all the fixin’s, and Grandma’s favorite (and my lame attempt at Jeff’s grandma’s recipe) German Chocolate cake. Nearly everyone Grandma loves dearly was there, so a good time was had by all!

Say Cheese!

2009-01-12T22:36:00.000-06:00

The girls have pretty much always given me a hard time about pictures. It’s especially annoying to me, given my profession. Of course, they’re probably numb to the excitement of picture taking because they’ve had a camera in their faces practically since they were born. Sure, there were occasional glimmers of cooperation, but it wasn’t until recently that the girls began embracing the art of photography, their cute faces as the subject.

With this newfound enjoyment of all that is digital, Cadie has discovered a new smile. It’s hysterical, at least to me. She’s even taken to posing. I won’t even try to describe it. Just enjoy the selections below, first of Cadie’s new smile, then some proof that Cadence and Madeline truly do enjoy having their picture taken these days.

Eureka!

2009-01-08T20:49:00.000-06:00

A lot braver in our traveling adventures these days, we said “Yes” when Grana and Poppy invited the four of us to accompany them to Eureka Springs at the beginning of November. The weather was beautiful, Jeff had a free weekday, and I was anxious to get out of the house, so it was a no brainer.

I very easily get car sick, so I staked my claim on the driver’s seat right away. Poppy sat up front with me, Daddy hung with the kiddos in the middle, and poor Grana (being the only one small enough) got stuck in the very back. The girls did well with the trip. They pretty much stayed entertained, but were ready for a break when we made a pit stop that morning at War Eagle. I used to go to War Eagle every year growing up because my mom was a vendor in the big craft show, but it’s been ages since I’ve been, so I was equally as excited as the girls. There is a huge wooden bridge and a real, working watermill, so the girls were in absolute awe. Of course, we had to walk across the bridge, and they were thrilled to stand and watch the rushing water. In the meantime, I had a death grip on each of, constant visions of one of them falling in and me having to dive into the icy water after them rushing through my head. We escaped unharmed. They also had several ducks and geese roaming around, so Cadie, our resident animal lover, chased them around. Maddie was a little scared of them, but she warmed up eventually. We ventured into the mill for some light shopping and breakfast. The girls helped themselves to some homemade cinnamon rolls and Grana doctored up some “coffee” for them. Yes, Grana has started a bad habit, but at least the concoction is more cream than coffee. Finally, it was time to move on, so we all piled back in and readied ourselves for them remainder of the trip.

Everything was going just fine until we started getting closer to town, weaving through the mountains and rolling over the hills. Maddie was getting a tad cranky, and I knew we were in trouble when she said her tummy hurt. Neither of the girls has ever said that their tummy hurts, so I knew it was the real thing. We were almost there, so I thought to myself, “Please, let us just get there!” A few minutes later, the panting began. Then, seconds later, she was sick all over herself. Bless her heart, it was terrible. Luckily, it was contained to her lap and her seat, but oh did it stink! She’d had chocolate milk all morning, so that should be descriptive enough. Of course, she was upset. She’d thrown up only once before, so she wasn’t totally sure what was going on. I remember, though, how pitiful she sounded when she said, “What happened? Did I spill?” It was a team effort getting her cleaned up. Poppy took Cadie to a nearby bridge to play, Grana got Maddie undressed, Daddy cleaned up the car seat, and I search for towels, paper towels, something to clean my poor child up with, and a trash can. Luckily, I always pack them spare clothes, so we didn’t have to worry about her having something to wear. What I hadn’t packed, though, was an extra Bebe. She doesn’t have one, and poor Bebe got the full brunt of the blow. So, Bebe spent the remainder of the trip in a Ziploc bag. Maddie didn’t care, though, she still held her and cuddled her. After everything was cleaned up as well as could be, we loaded back up and continued the short distance into town.

Our first stop was the train station, for the girls, the main point of our trip. Unfortunately, Grana and Poppy had mistaken November for the end of October, so we had arrived a few days late; the train was closed. Trying not to let on to the girls my disappointment, we cheerfully announced that they were going to get to explore the train station and see the outside of the trains. They’re smart enough they totally didn’t buy it, but young enough that they didn’t argue otherwise. It wasn’t the train trip they were looking forward to, but it sufficed. We spent at least an hour exploring the grounds, climbing on and around the various trains they had scattered about. It was fun enough. Then we headed to the shopping district.

None of us was excited about leaving the windows closed in the car, waiting to get toasty and stinky with the smell of Maddie’s sick, but thus is the nature of a trip to Eureka Springs. So, we cracked the windows and were on our shopping way. I knew the girls would enjoy the day and I wasn’t disappointed. We strolled in and out of stores, looking at all the wares, seeing things here and there that we couldn’t live without. We meandered through the streets, until we could meander no more, and finally succumbed to lunch time. The weather was beautiful, and ideally, we would have eaten outside, but all outdoor dining was strategically placed next to bridges and/or staircases, and I knew the girls wouldn’t be able to keep themselves from wanting to scale them, so we settled for a restaurant that was actually underground. It turned out to be a good choice, too, because they sat us at a large table, right next to a children’s play area, full of toys and games. It was perfect. The girls played while we waited for the food, at their lunch, then resumed their play while the rest of us finished our meals in peace.

After lunch, we returned to shopping until we could shop no more. Our last stop was an historic hotel. The grounds were beautiful and the hotel was fascinating. We explored the grounds and came across an area flooded with leaves. Unable to resist, I built up a huge mountain and showed the girls how to throw them in the air. We played in the leaves awhile, then decided it was time to head home. Of course, Maddie had to have one last incident before we hit the road. It wasn’t nearly as bad this time around, thank goodness.

The trip home, on the other hand, was another story. Although they slept for the entire middle of the trip, the final leg was miserable. They were tired, tired of being in the car, and hungry. We made it home, though, and the girls slowly crashed, exhausted from their day of fun. I imagine we’ll go back in the spring when the train starts again. Something tells me we will check ahead this time, though.

Soap, Suds, and Nostalgia

2009-01-07T14:18:00.000-06:00

I’ve been especially nostalgic lately. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s the beginning of a new year or the girls’ impending third birthday. This morning, as I sat and folded socks, I remembered how much I loved washing and folding the girls’ laundry when they were in the hospital, especially right after they were born. Due to their fragile nature, we weren’t allowed to participate in their care, even tasks as simple as changing diapers or bedding. Although I wasn’t worried about our bond as mother and child, that inability to participate did make me feel a little detached from the situation. In the absence of being able to hold them – or really even to touch them – doing their laundry was my way of connecting with my daughters. Although laundry is often thrown into the category of mundane and tedious tasks that parents often take for granted, it was a lifeline for me.

It’s funny the things you remember.

Hallowzooeen

2009-01-07T08:00:00.000-06:00

One of the events I was most excited about taking the girls to this past fall was Hallowzooeen at the Tulsa Zoo. I had never been, but had heard that it was a really fun event. So, thanks to the generosity of one of my clients, we were able to attend for free on October 29th.

It was pretty chilly, at least for October, but the girls’ costumes were pretty thick, so the coldness only showed on their noses. We’ve taken them to the zoo a couple of times, so it wasn’t an entirely new adventure, but we’d certainly never been there in the evening. The zoo is a much different place at night!

The first thing they were drawn to was the large globe that rotates and cascades with water. Something about that thing gets them every time. I was more interested in them visiting with the people dressed in animal costumes. There was a giraffe, panda bear, lion and others. They weren’t quite sure what to think about them, but we did manage to get them close enough to at least give a couple of them high five’s. Once Nana arrived, we were on our way.

Different companies had booths set up along the way. There was plenty of candy to be had, so we didn’t worry too much about getting to every booth. Of course, the inflatables that were scattered about were a big hit with the girls. That’s one thing they never shy away from.

One of the last booths we walked past had music playing. When Cadie hears music, she dances; it’s automatic. I don’t think she even thinks about it. So, Cadie started dancing, but very quickly spotted a “mummy” dancing in her direction. She was pretty wary at first, but eventually gave in to the music and danced along with him. Of course, I didn’t get the camera out in time, I was too busy enjoying the moment. It was just about the cutest thing I had ever seen. The long line of trick-or-treaters “ooh-ed” and “ahh-ed” in unison. Cadie was a big hit.

We had hopes to take the girls on a train ride around the park, but it was just too cold. So, we settled for the Carousel instead, and certainly didn’t get any complaints. We ended up having to ride it twice. Cadie rode the giraffe, then the zebra, and Maddie rode the penguin, then the tiger. Cadie had a death grip on me the first go around, but soon enjoyed herself. By the end of her second ride, she was shouting “Up! Down” every time the animals rose and fell.

Finally, it was time to call it an evening. With their candy in tow, we trekked back to the car and headed home, visions of our children falling asleep on the way home in Mommy and Daddy’s heads.

Pumpkin Monsters

2009-01-06T10:33:00.000-06:00

One of the girls’ friends, Ethan, celebrated his 3rd birthday in October. As a party favor, all of the kids got a pumpkin and a goodie bag full of pumpkin decorations. So, one evening, we sat down and decorated their pumpkins. They were immediately -- and surprisingly -- very attached to their creations. I knew they would become pumpkin pie if we left them inside at the mercy of the girls, so we declared the front porch as their new home. With great reluctance and some tears, we placed their monster pumpkins on the porch. As the days passed, they visited them every time we stepped out onto the porch. It was a short-lived love affair, though; not long before Halloween, I noticed one of them was getting pretty rotten, so November 1st, they both made a quiet trip to the trash can. They enjoyed it so much, though, you can bet we’ll do it again next year!

For the Love of Ranch

2009-01-04T13:59:00.000-06:00

The girls have developed a newfound love for Ranch. The dip kind, not the dressing. You know, the kind made with sour cream. Cadie loves broccoli, so for her, the two go hand in hand. Maddie, however, is more smitten than Cadie. At least enough that she’s taken to simply eating it right off the spoon. She’s not interested in distractions like broccoli or carrots. She’s a straight dip girl. I can’t really complain, though. I put some on Maddie’s sandwich today, and she easily scarfed down twice as much as she usually does. Oh, for the love of Ranch!

Playing With Daddy

2008-12-31T09:06:00.000-06:00

We’re a family that likes to play. Anytime and anywhere; we have a lot of fun. This particular day, I don’t remember what got us started, but I do remembering laughing really hard and having the best time. I’m pretty sure it all started in the middle of a pull-up’s change. The pictures speak for themselves.

Fun & Games

2008-12-30T20:05:00.001-06:00

It just occurred to me that I never wrote about our trip to the Tulsa State Fair this year, so stick with me as we take, yet another, step back in time.

This year, we visited on September 28th. There was a chance of rain that day, but we were running out of time, so we took our chances with the weather. Having long outgrown the stroller (in both size and tolerance), we opted instead to see if the girls would ride in the new pink “buggies” we’d bought them. We tried tricycles first, thinking the girls were old enough to maneuver them. Instead, not quite yet coordinated enough and just a tad lazy, they wanted us to push them around on the tricycles. So, those were tossed up in the attic for the spring, and I finally broke down and bought each of them the same little car that I’ve been eyeing the girls’ friend, Grace, enjoying across the street. Needless to say, they LOVE them. So, they seemed to be our best shot at getting the girls to ride in something other than our arms. Cadie was pretty cooperative and content; Maddie, on the other hand, tends to jump at any opportunity to be stubborn and obstinate. A trip to the fair is no exception. So, with our family of four, and Grana and Poppy along for the ride, we ventured into the fair.

We stopped right inside the gate to visit with a “cowboy” and his pony. He was graciously giving all the kiddos a free quick ride, so we decided to see if the girls would oblige. They were both pretty scared having never seen a full-sized horse. Surprisingly, Cadie went into hysterics and didn’t want to have anything to do with the horse, but Maddie was willing enough to at least stand by it. I even talked her into giving the horse a quick pet. Oh well, there’s always next year.

Next stop, the Petting Zoo. The girls had a blast year. This year’s petting zoo was a little bit disappointing. There weren’t nearly as many baby goats, and everything seemed very spread out. We all had a good enough time, though. The girls especially enjoyed the baby chicks. Cadie spent half the visit walking around going, “Cheep, cheep!”

This year, since the girls were old enough, we decided to take them on a couple of rides. It was also a good opportunity to get an idea of how they will do at Disney World in February. We were limited to rides that we could ride with them since they aren’t tall enough (or old enough, in my opinion) to ride by themselves. Our first choice was a Flinstones inspired ride that put us in cars, riding around a track. They had a lot of fun with those. Next, we rode a tilt-a-whirl type ride in the shape of dragons. Again, it was a lot of fun. We couldn’t spin too much, though, because Daddy gets motion sickness pretty easy!

What is a trip to the fair without partaking of some fair food? We decided to stick with the traditional selections and opted for a corn dog and fries. The girls devoured that poor corn dog and the French fries weren’t spared much more. Appetites suppressed, we headed for our final destination.

Finally, we ventured into the Quick Trip Center to visit booths and walk around. The girls really enjoyed the playground displays; so much, that we had a hard time getting them to leave them. We also came across a clown, so we waited in line to have some balloon animals made. Halfway through, they both decided that they wanted theirs to be hats, so the clown happily obliged. He even took a picture of the girls for his portfolio.

After that visit, it was becoming very apparent that naptime was on the horizon, so we packed up and headed home, another fun fair adventure under our belts.

Pumpkin Patch

2008-12-30T08:13:00.000-06:00

Our next stop in our fall adventure was a trip to the Pumpkin Patch on Friday, October 17th. We took the girls to this particular pumpkin patch last fall, but it didn’t have even half of the activities then as it did this year. It was a veritable pumpkin wonderland!

We took a stroll through the covered area that was overflowing with pumpkins of every shape, size, and color. Both of the girls were fascinated by them and made a game of looking at and touching every last one. Cadie took it a step even further and decided she would attempt to pick up every last one, no matter the size. Jeff and I both were pretty amazed by her strength. She’s a lot stronger than her tiny frame suggests!

Once we had our fill of pumpkins, we ventured over to one of this year’s new additions, the inflatable slide. We’ve taken the girls to one of those inflatable play areas, so they weren’t totally unfamiliar, but I wasn’t sure if they would be intimidated by the size and height of this particular slide. Their smiling and enthusiastic faces answered my concern very quickly. It did seem, however, that at least one of us would have to accompany them up and down due to the steep nature of the steps. Again, I was wrong. After the first trip up, it became very apparent that they didn’t need as much help with the steps as I thought, and they certainly didn’t need any help coming down. Still, I went with them for their remaining four slides just in case one of the bigger kids pushed them down. The sliding, however, they did entirely on their own. In fact, Maddie got a little creative and took her third and final slides on her belly. It was so much fun!

Next, we took a tractor ride around the track. It was so paced, but very fun and relaxing. It was a beautiful day, so we were able to bask in the sun and just enjoy the delight on the girls’ faces.

Finally, we decided to test the pony ride waters. After a couple of minutes of watching other kids ride, the girls responded with an enthusiastic “yes” when we asked if they wanted to ride the ponies. So, we decided to give it a go once we were guaranteed a refund if they refused. Not surprisingly, Cadie was perfectly at ease atop her pony. She even gently kicked at his sides as if she was encouraging him to go faster. Maddie’s was a mixed review. She didn’t hate it, but she didn’t love it. She asked to get off a couple of times, but we had already started and I knew she could survive the trip, so instead I let her have a death grip on me the entire time. Of course, the minute she got off she was beaming about how she’d ridden a pony and how much fun it was. I knew it!

As we left, the girls spotted an inflatable decoration that they just loved. It was shaped as a pumpkin, and every so often an inflatable cat would rise out of the top. They absolutely loved it; so much that we eventually had to force them away to the car.

Our trip to the Pumpkin Patch was definitely one of the highlights of the fall. This one (at 81st & Mingo) is great for kids of all ages and is one that we will definitely be visiting again next year.

More, More, More

2006-05-01T17:22:00.000-05:00

It's been a pretty quiet day for the girls. Cadie was bumped up to 20 ml of milk and Maddie was moved up to 16 ml of milk. They are both still taking their feedings very well. Maddie's nurse informed us that there has been some talk of taking her off her IV fluids since she is handling the milk just fine. It will be nice when that happens...there will be one less tube in her. She won't be able to do that, though, until she has finished her steroids.

Here We Go A-Marching

2006-04-29T17:20:00.000-05:00

This morning we participated in the annual WalkAmerica event held by the March of Dimes. Not long after the girls were born we learned about the March of Dimes and its purpose: preventing prematurity. Soon after that, we learned that the March of Dimes funded the research that is responsible for discovering and producing man-made surfactant, a chemical we produce naturally that coats our lungs, preventing our air sacs from drying up and becoming brittle, and which allows are lungs to re-inflate each time we exhale. It is a chemical that we don't start producing until thirty two weeks gestation, so the girls were unable to produce it when they were born. Both girls received doses of surfactant after they were born and have benefited from it tremendously. It is very likely that neither Cadie or Maddie would be alive today without Surfactant. If they had survived to this point, they would have a future of being on a ventilator at least until adulthood, if not their entire lives. Because of this, we are VERY supportive of the March of Dimes. We owe them our daughters' lives. Our team met at LaFortune Park this morning to walk in support of the girls. Our team included: Mommy, Daddy, Nana(my mom), Grandma and Grandpa (Jeff's parents), Grana and Poppy (my dad and step-mom), Auntie Lolo (my sister), and Mollie and Steve (the girls' god-parents). In just three weeks, our team managed to raise $2400! There was quite a turn out; we even saw some of the EOPC nurses. I designed shirts for our team, then found out today there would be a t-shirt contest. Of course we participated! We actually placed second in the Most Creative category. We were the only family team that participated amongst a large number of corporate teams, so we were very proud of our placing. It was a great time for a great cause.

We visited the girls before the Walk. Madeline has been bumped up to eleven ml's of milk. The nurse reported that Maddie had quite the blowout this morning. Apparently she just wouldn't stop pooping; she even got a little on the nurse. That's my girl! She doesn't take poop from anyone! Of course, we visited the girls again after the Walk. Maddie was sucking her thumb; it was so comforting to see her doing "normal" baby things. Cadie's report revealed she is now getting fourteen ml's of milk and that she'd had a blowout of her own. Is this something to look forward to when they come home? Madeline had her first round of steroids today. Dr. K expects the small dosage to help her lungs mature and strengthen faster, and we already noticed a difference during our visit. Ideally, the steroids will help her get off the ventilator soon. No steroids have been ordered for Cadie so far, but she hasn't struggled as much as Maddie, so we'll see. More good news: the girls no longer score high enough to be considered "minimal handling!" According to Dr. Cline, though, they are going to stay on minimal handling for just a bit longer because they aren't quite ready. This means we could be holding our girls within the next couple of weeks! The minute they start allowing us to hold them, they are going to have to drag me out of there to get me to leave every day. I can't explain how hard it is to sit by their beds every day, not allowed to pick them up and hold them. Jeff confessed he wants so badly to lean over and kiss them; but we can't.

We're on our Weigh!

2006-04-28T17:19:00.000-05:00

Cadence and Madeline both looked comfy and cozy when we visited this afternoon. Maddie was swaddled and bundled, happy in her little cocoon. It's been so nice keeping them off the bilirubin light because it has allowed them to be swaddled all the time. They were both weighed last night. Maddie was one pound, fifteen ounces, just one ounce shy of two pounds! Cadie was two pounds, thirteen ounces, just three ounces shy of three pounds. They are both growing so much. We were able to get a peek at Cadie's legs while she was getting her diaper changed, and, as odd as it sounds, her little thighs looked chunky! They have increased their feedings again. Maddie now gets nine ml's every three hours and Cadie gets eleven ml's. It seems such a long way from one ml when they first started. They are both still digesting the milk without any problems, so they should continue to get more and more. Maddie had been struggling with her ventilator settings, but showed improvement after the nurse discovered her tube had been jarred then replaced it with a new one. Ever since, her oxygen requirements have been slowly going down. She showed us how impressive her sucking reflex is while she enjoyed her pacifier. I held it in her mouth for her for a while, and there were a couple of times she sucked so hard, she pulled it right out of my hand!

What's Up Doc?

2006-04-27T17:19:00.000-05:00

Jeff and I visited the girls this morning and they looked great! Our prayers were answered because Cadie had a BIG bowel movement. Oh the things we celebrate! Both girls are stable on their ventilator settings and breathing seems to get a little easier for them every day. Madeline has been bumped up to six ml's of milk every three hours and Cadie is getting seven. Hopefully, they will continue to do well so they can get more milk and get some meat on their bones. We can see some definite weight gain in Cadie despite the fact that she has been swaddled; her cheeks are chubbier. We talked with Dr. K a bit while we visited Maddie. She is very please with how both girls are doing. She assured us that there is absolutely nothing wrong with either of their lungs. The x-rays are coming back clear; they are just struggling because of their prematurity, which is expected. She predicted Madeline will be off the ventilator by next week. We also discussed Cadie's head. She tried to prepare us for the possibility that Cadie might have to have a Ventricular Access Device (VAD) surgically "installed" to help control the hydrocephalus. It is basically a device that consists of a small tube and a bag that is inserted right under her scalp. If necessary, a needle can be inserted into the device to "tap" or drain whatever fluid has built up in the bag. She reassured us that there is no reason to believe this is definitely going to happen, but to be aware that it's a possibility. How can we not be terrified at the thought of another surgery? Especially one that involves putting a device in her head. So far, Cadie's head hasn't grown anymore, so we are resting on the hope that it won't. As long as the hydrocephalus doesn't advance enough to trigger any alarms that brain damage is possible, we will get by without the VAD. If it has to happen, though, it has to happen. She left on a positive note and said how pleased she is with the girls' progress; they have responded to all of the treatments they have been given. She remarked that we have couple of fighters on our hands. If they can beat this, they can beat anything.

We Have Poop!

2006-04-26T17:18:00.000-05:00

You know it was a good day with a heading like that! The girls continue to improve with their ventilator settings and both have earned an increase to four ml's of milk because they are tolerating their feeds without a single problem. They have started weighing them every other day, so we will be able to get a clearer picture of their weight gain. Cadie weighed a whopping two pounds, ten ounces. That's not sarcasm talking, either. She has gained eight ounces since she was born and she's only six ounces from being a three-pounder! Maddie weighed one pound, twelve ounces. She lost just a tad, but it didn't come as a surprise due to the diuretic she has been receiving.

Now, in explanation of today's heading. I know it seems strange that I am so excited about something like poop, but for our girls, this is a big deal. It is vital that they have regular bowel movements: one, because it means their intestines are working properly; and two, because it is a natural release of bilirubin. Bilirubin is something that exists naturally in all of us. High levels of bilirubin can cause jaundice in newborns, and if allowed to reach a certainly level, can cause brain damage. The two ways of releasing bilirubin naturally are bowel movements and exposure to sun. Since the girls certainly don't get the latter, they rely on poop and the phototherapy lights. The phototherapy lights can cause damage to their eyes, so they have to wear soft-padded goggles as protection. Poop = no more phototherapy lights, no more goggles, natural release of bilirubin, and we get to see more of their beautiful faces! Maddie's nurse told us first thing that she'd had a HUGE stool that morning. Hooray for Maddie! Cadie hasn't had one yet, but we know she can do it!

Cadie's head measured the same today as it did yesterday. This means there hasn't been any further growth. We are still hoping the hydrocephalus will resolve itself naturally so no intervention is necessary. Time will tell.

Maddie Makes Her Mark

2006-04-25T17:17:00.001-05:00

It is amazing how the littlest things excite you when it comes to your own kids. Today, we discovered that Maddie has a birthmark on her left hip. It's very cute. Her ventilator settings have improved, and they have started breathing treatments to expand her lungs and break up the fluid that has been collecting. Although she is still having some issues with desats (drops in her oxygen saturation), the breathing treatments seem to be helping. It is very common for preemies to struggle with desats and apnea, so it is not a major concern at this point. She is still just as feisty as can be; she was adamant on sucking her fingers while we were there. Her bilirubin level was back down to normal, but as a precaution they decided to leave her under the light for another day.
The results of Cadie's head ultrasound were somewhat inconclusive. It looks as though she has developed hydrocephalus, but the increase in her head circumference could be a combination of that and regular growth. They will continue to measure her head daily and she will be visited regularly by Dr. Benner. Some growth due to hydrocephalus is acceptable because infants' heads are naturally able to expand and adjust because the sutures in their skull aren't yet fused together. Once the swelling reaches a certain point, though, it becomes problematic because it begins putting pressure on the nerves, which can lead to brain damage. The doctors will watch her closely, and if it looks as though she is headed in that direction, they will intervene. Hopefully, the swelling will slow, if not cease, and the problem will resolve itself. Cadie was still wrapped up in her bili-blanket and resting comfortably. She always likes to have at least one arm up by her face. Today, it was her right arm, resting next to her cheek; she looked very content.

Ever since they were born, the girls have been classified under a "minimal handling" protocol, which limits any non-emergency medical treatment including checking temperature, changing diapers, changing their position, to every four to six hours, in order to limit stress. If the babies score high enough -- in this case, high is bad -- they are kept under this protocol until they can handle more "handling." Thursday, the girls will be thirty weeks gestation, which will, in terms of points, no longer classify them under "minimal handling." The sooner they are no longer on ventilators or classified as "minimal handling," the sooner we get to finally hold them. As a precaution, Dr. K may keep them under this protocol for a bit longer if she determines they still aren't ready to be taken off. Despite how desperately we want to hold them, we are okay with them remaining under "minimal handling" as long as they need it. We certainly don't want to contribute to their stress. We just can't wait to start Kangaroo Care.

All in all, it was a good day. Both girls were increased to two ml's of milk every three hours and they have not had a single problem. Cadie even got a taste on her pacifier (courtesy of her nurse, Monica), which was an extra special treat.

Busy, Busy

2006-04-24T19:48:00.000-05:00

We've had a few ups and downs these past few days. When I visited the girls on Saturday the shift nurse informed me that Madeline had "had a really bad night." My heart sank. She explained that Madeline had quite a few problems with her oxygen levels; so much so that they had to turn the oxygen saturation on her ventilator up to 100%. Cadie, on the other hand, was doing just fine; she was having a few issues with her oxygen as well, but her nurse didn't seem as concerned as Madeline's. We have been anxiously waiting for Cadie to have a bowel movement because it is a natural way to control the bilirubin levels in her body. I was relieved when the nurse reported that Cadie, had in fact, pooped. I was also told that both of their feedings have temporarily stopped. I left for home, upset and panicked over Madeline's report. Then, after some sobbing and uncontrollable crying, my mom reminded me that that particular nurse -- the nurses rotate, so she isn't Madeline's nurse all the time, thank goodness -- has a flair for the dramatic. Composure regained, I assured myself that there was no reason for concern until Dr. K tells us we should be. I remembered that during my visit her oxygen levels were better, not great, but better, and she looked good. Before leaving, I had also requested that Maddie remain swaddled as often as possible because it is calming and soothing for her. As long as she is under the bilirubin light, though, she cannot be swaddled because it blocks the effects of the light.
We attended our church baby shower on Sunday. Everyone was unbelievably generous. I confessed to them how much I had been dreading the shower because it is so difficult being around other people right now. They were all very nice, though, and I ended up having a wonderful time.

We visited the girls after the shower. Their oxygen levels had improved even more, and they both looked as though they had gained a little weight. I was thrilled to see that they were both swaddled. They both looked very comfortable, Madeline especially. She doesn't like to be fussed with, but she loves to be bundled.

This afternoon, the girls looked great. They are both back under the bilirubin light because their levels were high enough after this morning's blood work. Madeline is under the traditional bilirubin light, but Cadie is wrapped up in a bili-blanket due to a shortage of lights. I actually prefer the blanket because it allows her to be swaddled. Both girls were weighed last night. Madeline weighed 1 pound 13 1/2 ounces and Cadence weighed 2 pounds 7.3 ounces. They both gained weight! Madeline is finally weighing in above her birth weight. Their chest x-ray results revealed that both their lungs are a little foggy, which can be attributed to a number of things including infection or just the fact that they were so premature. Dr. K ordered a dose of Lasiks -- a diuretic -- for both of them to get rid of some of the fluid, which will, in turn, improve their breathing. They are both taking milk again; they have to restart at the very bottom, which is frustrating, but necessary to make sure they can tolerate it. They are both receiving 1 milliliter every three hours. Madeline got her first feeding at 11 this morning and hasn't had a problem. Cadence got her first feeding during my visit at two o'clock, while Madeline got her second. Maddie had a little smear on her rear end when the nurse changed her diaper, so she is trying to make a poop.
One area of concern is Cadie's head. The nurse, Monica, reported that Dr. K had bumped up her scheduled head ultrasound today because her head had measured a little more than yesterday. My immediate reaction was to attribute the change to growth, so I asked the nurse if that was possible. She and Dr. K had actually discussed that possibility earlier in the day. They agreed that if it isn't normal growth, it is most likely due to hydrocephalus, a complication of IVH that occurs when a blood clot prevents cerebral spinal fluid from draining naturally. If the fluid cannot drain, it builds up in the area that surrounds the brain and can eventually put damaging pressure on her brain. If the head ultrasound confirms that the growth is a result of hydrocephalus, they will continue to monitor her closely. If it reaches a point where intervention is necessary, they can perform a procedure to drain the excess fluid. We are crossing our fingers that this isn't the case, that her head is just growing from all the yummy milk she is getting.

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

2006-04-20T19:44:00.000-05:00

The girls looked great today. Cadie actually looks like she has gained some weight, not a lot, but a little goes a long way with them. She is eating 6 1/2 ml's of milk every three hours now, which is quite a bit more than the 2 ml's she was getting. Hopefully, she will continue to tolerate the milk so she can start gaining some serious weight. Maddie continues to get milk every three hours also, but she only receives 1 ml because she threw up a little last night. Any time they show even the slightest aversion to a feeding, they ease off a little to ensure there isn't a problem. Sometimes they take two steps forward, then one step back. It's a slow means of progression, but it's progression nonetheless. Cadie was resting contently, but Maddie was squirming all over the place. This is just what she does. The nurse informed us that Maddie had actually pulled out her ventilator tube this morning, so they were re-taping it during our visit. She was agitated and stressed, and it was easy to see that she was in pain. It broke my heart to watch her and not be able to do anything, but I knew it was better for me to stay and calm her with my touch, then leave her to the anxiety of a medical touch. I rested my hand on her legs to reassure her, and it seemed to help. At one point, she got a hold of my finger and squeezed it tight. Once the nurse was done, Madeline calmed down and went back to resting. She just doesn't like to be fussed with. Something tells me she is going to be a handful when she gets home.

Good News

2006-04-19T19:42:00.000-05:00

We found out the results of the latest head ultrasounds today. It was good news, not fantastic news, but good news. The scans revealed that there hasn't been any significant change in either of their bleeds. Translation: it hasn't gotten worse. Dr. K was pleased with the results and has scheduled another head ultrasound for next Tuesday and every Tuesday following that until the results show improvement. At our first meeting, when we discussed all of the girls' problems, Dr. K mentioned that if things were going to get worse, it would happen in the week or two following their birth. So, the hopeful mommy in me is holding on to the thought that if it hasn't gotten worse by now, it won't. I hope I am right.

Madeline is doing well on the ventilator. Cadence has followed and is also back on the ventilator. They both just wore out. They will try switching them to the CPAP again in the next week or so. As I've said before, we are not concerned as long as they both continue to eat. With her switch back to the ventilator, they had to temporarily stop Cadie's feedings, but will resume them soon. The hardest part of going backwards is seeing them out of their isolettes and back in the radiant warmers. It was really difficult not to feel as though they had taken a huge step back. I have been warned over and over again that life in the NICU is a roller coaster, but I’m not sure any amount of warnings can help you fully comprehend how hard it is unless you find yourself in the middle of it. I am trying to be as positive as I can, especially for Cadence and Madeline, but some days it feels impossible.